Friday, May 9, 2014

me, myself, and chair

Me: Philly's out of town for a couple days.  Should we get ourselves into trouble like we always do?

Myself:  Ohhh....YES!  What sounds good?

Me: You want to reupholster that chair, don't you?

Chair (in the distance):  Oh, crap.

Myself: Yes, but I'm afraid.

Me: Me too.  We like the chair, right?  Just not the old-lady floral fabric (that YOU picked out, if I recall)?







 Myself: It's okay...

Me: Well, we have to do SOMETHING with it, right? 

Myself: I know...but I'm afraid.  I don't know squat about that stuff.

Me: What about painting the fabric?

Myself: Paint the fabric? Now I'm super afraid.

Chair (in the distance):  Oh super crap.

Me: Don't be afraid.  I'm here.  And others have done it; how bad can it be?

Myself: Won't it be weird and sticky, or crunchy...and...weird?

Me: I don't know, but there are magical places in the computer called blogs;
they've done it.  We shall consult them. 

Myself:  Are you sure?

Me: Of course.  And if it's awesome, we'll become one of those magical places.

 Myself: And if it sucks, we can always reupholster it.

Chair (in the distance):  Kill me now.

Me: And we're not going to tell Philly, cuz he'll kill us all. 

***********************************************


We decided to use ASCP on the chair.  Since we've had this chair since its birth, we didn't have to get out the hazmat suit and sterilize it first.  I think Eddie licked his nevermind on it once for 5 minutes; otherwise it's had no use.


I armed Myself with our paint and a wet wash cloth.
Myself gets to have all the fun.

After dampening all the fabric, the back got some Graphite.

But first, Eddie helped:


The rest got covered in a mixture of Old White and Pure White.
(More Pure than Old.  Which is just the opposite of Philly.)

Here's the first coat: 


Looks like crap, right?  Well, after a couple more coats it looked pretty fly. 

It looked so fly that Eddie told me we need to do the ottoman too.




Once dry, I measured and taped (green painter's tape) for a stripe down the center.  Upon first glance, this chair appears symmetrical.

It is not.
There may have been some swears during the measuring and taping.

Before I painted the center, I "sealed" the painter's tape down with my white mixture so the blue/green wouldn't bleed.

Of course I forgot to take pictures of everything I just talked about because I was too busy with my swears.

Anyway, here it is!




The stripe down the center is a custom blend of Old White, Pure White, Paris Grey, and Duck Egg Blue.   


And by "custom," I mean I mixed up a little pot and hoped like heck I had enough to finish the job because I'd never have the recipe again.

Someone left the cake out in the rain.

Am I the only one who went there?


I love the contrast of the Graphite on the back of the chair.


Remember my night(mare) stand?   


 



We sealed the whole project with clear wax.  Most people say this gives the fabric almost a leather-like feel.  I'm going with more like a Pleather.  We can't all feel like buttah.


And then we waited for Death to come.

*******************************

Death darkened my door and....nothing.

Nope.  He didn't notice the chair, even though it's sitting right next to his big-ass TV he was watching that evening.  That was Wednesday night. 

Thursday:  Nada.

This morning?  Nope.

They say it's easier to ask forgiveness than get permission.  Apparently I need neither.  Ima go trade my 9-year-old VW in for a new Audi or BMW and see how long it takes for him to notice THAT.

Can I get an Amen and Alleluia.  And some German engineering.  MmmHmm. 

One more look.


Would YOU have approved this project?
Or would you have been Death?
That is, if Death actually knew about it?

Which he might now....

***Update!!  Death just saw the blog post and he is FREAKING OUT!!  Bwahahahahaha!!!***


Featured!





Life on Lakeshore Drive


Elizabeth and Co.

Photobucket


The Dedicated House


 

80 comments:

  1. Forget Death - this is the most magical thing I have ever seen anyone do in my entire life. WOW. I had no idea you could paint chairs!! Turned out great!!

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  2. Oh yours looks amazing! I think I need to add a little custom mix to mine now. Julian always notices my stuff...because like our four year old, if I like it, I pounce on him when he gets home with "look what I did, look what I did" Audi I say Treat Yo Self!

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  3. I approve! I have a chair that I painted like that last year. I'm about to recover it finally. You should have walked over and taken home with you! Go get yourself an Audi. You totally deserve it.

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  4. Who discovered that you could paint fabric? That blows my mind. It looks great!
    That clock is an attention ho.
    Be careful or I will sing you McArthur Park in my real voice.

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  5. Wow. I have never heard of painting a chair before and I really thought it was going to look bad... but, honestly.. I love it!

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  6. HAHAHAA!!! I'll need a follow up post for this, please. :)

    And it sure does look pretty fly!

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  7. I don't think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it...and because THAT is SOOOO incredibly awesome!!!! Yourself really does have all the fun, besides Eddie.

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  8. I went there! Is your beautiful chair crunchy or sticky or anything? I've heard of painting with a mix of fabric medium and paint, not chalk paint! I love it and want to try it on my ugly wing back.

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  9. I did not know you could paint fabric! You are one of the bravest women I know for leaping into furniture projects--and this is GORGEOUS! I wonder how it will hold up over time? The waxing should help, I would think. I am just amazed. :)

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  10. I really, really like it! I haven't worked up the nerve to paint fabric yet but this is giving more courage than a big glass of wine!

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  11. Way to go Andi. It looks AMAZING!! PINNING!

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  12. Holy logjams, Batman! That is freaking gorgeous!! I'm serious...definitely a great move. The stripe totally makes it and I love the graphite back for contrast. Stunning really! Pinning!! Have a great weekend! :)

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  13. I think it looks great! good job. I happen to tackle jobs like that (and worst), while my angel is away for work. You are not alone

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  14. McArthur Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet green icing flowing down. I love you, but I hate you for being so talented. My four dining room chairs have white fabric seats. I kept them in perfect condition for about ten years. Then I moved to Florida and had two little ghouls, I mean girls, in my house. One came for dinner, and one came for cake. By the time they were gone, all the chairs were destroyed. They look like shit. Help me, Mrs. Wizard, I want pretty chairs and I can't afford to hire someone to reupholster them because I just bought a Bosch dishwasher.

    Love,
    Janie

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  15. I like but the old lady fabric had something

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  16. Well look at you! I love this and I have to say, I would never have attempted it after ruining a lamp shade with paint. Yours turned out lovely and definitely you should go buy that Audi! Like now! Oh...and put some change in the swear jar.

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  17. Fantastic!!!! I would love it if you joined and contribute your awesome posts at my link party at City of Creative Dreams on Fridays :D Hope to see you there at City of Creative Dreams Link Party.

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  18. I love your work as much as I love your narrative, you are just hilarious! Will be following your blog for sure (The old Jedi trick obviously worked on me!)

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    1. Awesome! I LOVE that the Jedi mind trick worked! I think you're the first person to tell me it actually worked! :P

      -andi

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  19. OMG, that is so funny! Chair's pretty awesome, too. I never in a million years would have thought to paint right over the fabric, but it's very wonderful. I like how the texture and depth of the fabric design comes through. I'm hooked on your blog and am now following.

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  20. Hilarious Post! Please link this or the new BMW to my Friday Favorites going on now at http://imnotatrophywife.com

    love it! laura

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  21. The chair looks really pretty, even if it does not feel like Buttah.

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  22. FAbulous! Fabulous! Fabulous! ( Can you hear the lisp and the clappin) Channel Eddie Murphy....

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  23. I love it! Thinking it's gorgeous, the colors are amazing and the lines are incredibly straight...BUT, how long will the sweet, pleather ass feel, feel good? You know what I mean? Will it start acting up, peeling and cracking or maybe rubbing off onto your clothes? I need updates periodically on the longevity of this chair. You should make Phil perform these experiments, sort of as punishment for not paying enough attention to your awesomeness.

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  24. This chair just catapulted you to fame.
    I don't think that I can take it, cuz it took so long to bake it.....

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  25. Oh this is genius!!! I have 2 chairs I want to do this. The kids trashed them and I think painting them would be awesome!
    I would love if you link this to the Monday party on my blog tomorrow morning!
    Xo
    Isabelle

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  26. Yep. I went there. I don't think that I can take it, 'cause it took so long to make it.

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  27. I looks great! Please come share your chair at the Anything Goes linky, if you have not already.

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  28. This is something I need to do. I am terrified it wont work out but I guess worse case scenario I throw out the old chair. Or cover it again with a slip cover. This looks great, I love the line down the middle!

    Emily- Our house now a home

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  29. this is a GREAT makeover! It's beautiful. It's lovely! It's way less old lady-ish. Great job!

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  30. From a new follower: this is sooo fantastic. Love the makeover.

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  31. I'm building up the nerve to do a chair myself, brava for you that you took the plunge and shared. It looks fabulous!

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  32. That is absolutely gorgeous. And I loved the way you've written the post. Made me laugh! :D

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  33. MYSELF: that was one FUGLY chair
    I: So if she screwed it up, she could toss it out
    ME: If she screwed it up, we'd never know. She'd NEVER post about THAT.
    US: We all hate you now.

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  34. What a completely gorgeous re-do! You really worked hard! I love how it turned out: such a modern vintage vibe.... :)
    “hugs” Crystelle
    Crystelle Boutique

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  35. Wow, it looks beautiful but PLEASE, please . . . let us know if it's comfortable or crunchy. Found you over at BLISS RANCH.
    Thanks.

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    1. I love Bliss...she's awesome! The chair really just feels like pleather. Definitely not soft enough to say it feels like leather, but it's not crunchy. It's plenty comfy! Of course, the chair never got much use before...it probably won't get much use now. I've read lots of other blogs where they've done the same treatment to a chair and it seems to hold up well! I guess I won't know for a while whether or not it's durable...

      Thanks for visiting!

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  36. oh.my.goodness. I just spit all over my keyboard. It was the "nevermind" that got me!
    I love the new look. Tell "myself" the floral print was definitely old lady and had to go. It's totally fabulous now!
    Kelly

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  37. That turned out just gorgeous Andi !!!
    I started painting 2 chairs oh about a month and a half ago and ran out of paint lol -
    but they feel so stiff - ( I know they apparently soften up )
    Can't believe how perfect yours looks !
    XOX

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  38. This came out great. I love the chair. Thanks so much for sharing with Wednesday's Adorned From Above Link Party.
    Debi and Charly

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  39. ohhh mmmm geee!! You are hilarious! I love it and the chair! It turned out so great. And so funny, I think your husband and mine might be related!!! lol I can give hints and my husband will still miss things. BUT I'd bet they both'd notice new cars in the driveway immediately! lol
    Nancy

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  40. Death can go suck eggs! You have breathed some serious LIFE into this chair! OMGosh, it totally rocks! I love the Graphite back, and think you should totally go for some German engineering :) Thanks for a super read! Came over from The Scoop.

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    1. Thanks! I can't wait to go tell Death to suck eggs!!!!!!!! :)

      -andi

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  41. I absolutely 'went there'....I was already singing along, right after reading, ".....because I'd never have that recipe again." Truly laughed out loud, almost spit my tea onto the computer screen! LOVE, love, love what you did!!!! (Now to go find me an ugly floral chair to try this out on!)

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    1. I've had that song in my head for a week now!! :)

      -andi

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  42. Your chair is really fabulous Andi! What an amazing job you did. Love it!

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  43. You should talk to the furniture more often...and always follow your instincts! your chair rocks!

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  44. Hilarious post- it's a Friday Favorites Feature at http://imnotatrophywife.com. Turned out great!
    laura

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  45. yeah, I was singing but I hit the second line. Chair looks great. I started painting one a year or more ago, so now I'm thinking I will finish it up cuz it might end up pretty damn good too after seeing yours!

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  46. So awesome!! I love the stripe down the middle. WAY easier than the whole upholstery mess, which I am in the middle of! Thank you so much for sharing at Redouxinteriors!

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  47. Thou art a comical woman. :) And this is AWESOME. I've told so many people that painting your ugly queen ann chair is a possibility but I have yet to try it myself. WAY TO GO! Thanks for sharing at Trash 2 Treasure Tuesday and I pinned to the highlights board. :)

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  48. Your chair is fantastic! I just recovered a wing back chair and it was HARD! I don't think I'll do it again(notice that I didn't say "never")! I always wait until my husband goes out of town to do big projects. He rarely notices any changes until I bring it up. But he knows he's not allowed an opinion about decorating!

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  49. Andi you have outdone yourself! I love the chair and how awesome you are for doing it! My favorite part? That your husband didn't even notice...

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  50. Thank you for the MacArthur Park reference, I am now listening to it on Youtube. And, I have now become a subscriber to your blog. The chair looks fabulous as well, as soon as I find a pair I am doing this, it seems to be no fail!

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    1. Thanks so much! I'm actually surprised I didn't add that video at the end of my post. I usually do that! Oops. Welcome!!
      -andi

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  51. LOL* you are so funny.... I love the way you shock Death of your project Andi.

    I am just worried, can we sit on that although you covered with wax? Shall we dare to sit on it then? Graciousness, sorry for my thoughts.

    I love the way you re-done it anyways.

    Happy weekend.

    /CC

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  52. Are you still alive? Andi...Andi? That chair looks fantastic now! You can tell Philly that that fabric was so outdated that his grandma wouldn't date it ;) I have got to try this technique I says to myself...

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  53. I think I have the exact same chair hiding in a closet. I really want to try the paint. Do you think it is comfortable to sit in with the paint? How does is feel? I am dying to get rid of the floral fabric!

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    1. I think I will put another coat of wax on it. I only had time to put on one coat before Death arrived. It’s certainly not as comfortable as a leather LazyBoy, but I think it will be okay. Of course, mine really won’t get much use…it never did before!

      I say paint away!!

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    2. I will and I will let you know how it goes...thanks for the great idea!!

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  54. That chair is so neat, I have a hunter green one in the basement that I'm so eager to paint! I'd only hope it will come out as nice as yours.

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  55. Your chair kicks my chairs butt...or is that Eddie's butt? Never mind. I painted a chair too and it came out terrible. In fact, I posted about it to warn others! My fabric was very dark green corduroy. It sucked up that paint like a porn star.

    Your chair looks AHMAZING!

    Philly sounds like a hoot. Not exactly a detailed oriented kinda guy I'm assuming? lol

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  56. It looks super duper! So you said "a couple of more coats" - does that mean it took three coats?

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  57. I love your blog - entertaining and informative! I just made the mistake of showing it to my husband (whose name is also Phil). He now checks in on your blog because he thinks he has a kindred spirit with your Philly. I love that you painted upholstery. I'm going to have to try this. Your chair looks great!

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    1. I'm so glad you're here! And thanks so much! I think our collective Phils can use all the kindred spirits they can find! :)

      -andi

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  58. Go you! That turned out gorgeous! I'm featuring this Thursday over at Power of Paint... LOVE it!

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  59. Just stopping back by to let you know that I will be featuring this at What We Accomplished Wednesday tomorrow evening. Have a great week!
    Blessings, Deborah

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  60. You did such an awesome job. I will be featuring this tonight at my Swing into Spring party that opens at 8pm EST. Please stop by and pick up an I've Been Featured button. Thanks. http://diybydesign.blogspot.com

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  61. This chair is so cool now. I too took the plunge and painted a chair for my daughter. I sanded between coats to make it so smooth. Did you do this too? The contrast of the back and the stripe is awesome!

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    1. I was a total lazy bum and did NOT sand! I probably should have, but I was in a hurry...Death was coming!

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  62. h, how come this post never made it to my mailbox? I saw it featured on a blog and it said "Andi did that". I was like "no way, I would know, I read her blog!" and yes, you did it! It's absolutely awesome. I love the chair, the writing, Eddie's idea of doing the ottoman. There's only one problem: you should have written down the recipe for that light blue you created, because now, you'd be rich. I bet we all want the same!

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  63. I absolutely love this look, was it easy to do, would you do it again? Was it hard to wax? I've seen painted fabric before, but this looks fab.
    Jeannie

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  64. That is AWESOME Andi!! I love how it turned out. I wish I had seen this before I ripped the fabric and 25 thousand staples off my arm chair! :(

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  65. OK, I got a gripe. I'm not getting your posts in my email anymore. Had to look up an old one to get on and see what I'd missed. All the way back to 'Feeling Guilty?' 'Sup with THAT?? And yours isn't the only one! Just the most important. And here's why:

    I have a love seat that I've been wanting to paint since we moved in here!!!! So...you just used paint. No "fabric medium" mixed in? I WILL do this before the summer is out! You are my hero!! In a female way...heroine? I've got to get this blog thing figured out....

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    1. All I used was Annie Sloan chalk paint and I sealed it with her wax. I've seen LOTS of other methods though...using latex paint with a medium. The Annie Sloan is pretty expensive, and I used a total of about a quart on the chair and ottoman.

      Did you get the email I sent you yesterday??

      -andi

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  66. Okay, this is amazing! Thank you for sharing. You are one of the features today at The Round-Up from the Before and After Wednesday party at The Dedicated House. Here is the link to The Round-Up. http://www.thededicatedhouse.com/2014/05/the-round-up-from-before-and-after_28.html Hope to see you again at the bash! Toodles, Kathryn @TheDedicatedHouse

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  67. I have a little wing back settee in the garage just waiting for a paint treatment. Now I don't feel so scared. Say hello to Eddie.

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  68. Whaaaaaaat? This is an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. transformation! Truly Andi, well done and how daring of you to paint a stripe down the middle. I would have ended up with chevron if I attempted this. Ok, so here is the funny thing...you talk about your hubby and approval and all that, well I showed my Mr. Man the before and after and after he caught his breath he said "you should paint the kitchen settee"! So I have the go ahead to paint upholstered furniture without even asking for permission! Now I just need the kahunas to do it!
    Fondly,
    -Lisa

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  69. That cake will NEVER be the same. AGAIN......
    :)

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