the empty bowl

It's obvious when a bowl is empty, right?

It's a basic assumption we can recognize an empty bowl when we see one. Sometimes that empty bowl will stare us in the face, and yet, we look beyond it.

At other times, that empty bowl will slap us in the face and demand to be recognized.

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i like big decks and i cannot lie {part three}

It's officially mimosa time.

Why does everyone say "sip mimosas"? I heard these words fall out of my own mouth, and the lie echoed loudly in my ears. Let's slam mimosas. Because at least that has the ring of truth to it.

And I'll have none of that pulpy orange juice. If it doesn't flow willingly down the gullet, it tends to slow down (and, thus, ruin) the experience.

Better yet, let's make mimosas with apple cider, vodka, and bubbly. Because fall has arrived. My daughter, Emma, found this recipe and we had to try it out. Yum yum. 

I love drinking with children.

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big-screen tv gallery wall

Hello, and welcome to my wall! I like to call it the vomit wall, but I thought you might not have come for a visit had I called it so.

I'm quite sure you're all familiar with the gallery wall concept. I'm not plowing any new ground here, except for that in my own home. If you're unfamiliar with this ingenious design concept, you won't be for long.

If you are a minimalist and hate this type of design, continue at your own risk. You've been duly warned.

The purpose of this project was not to hide my big-ass TV. Or even my big ass. I've read quite a few posts on TV gallery walls, and the reason for their gallery was to "hide, camouflage, or disappear" the flat-screen.

Unless you hang a whale on the wall in front of my TV, you're going to see it.

Personally, I don't mind the big black blob on the wall. It helps me see Chris Hemsworth better. I do mind the endless space around the big black blob. It's a blah blob.

Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You, sir, are a mouthful.

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landscaping around the flag pole, Master Yoda, and ticks

Greetings! I hope you're all having a wonderful week. I was the lucky recipient of a colonoscopy recently, which is more fun than a tick infestation. (More on that later.) I love coming out of the anesthesia and discovering which random quote will fall from my numb, dry lips.

This one was Philly's all-time favorite. I clearly believed I was dying, so I raised my head ever-so-slightly and uttered, "But Master Yoda, you can't die..."

Obviously, I'm a Jedi Master.

You can't make that shit up.

Did you see my beautiful flag? And look at that amazing landscaping surrounding it. The way the parched, dried earth surrounds and embraces the dandelions? I'm awesome at gardening.

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tailoring a bed skirt

Since the dawn of time, bed skirts have conspired to crush my soul. Oh, the lifting of the mattress, the positioning of the skirt, the replacing of the mattress. The intense physical combat. The sweating and the swearing. Well, I actually enjoy the swearing part.

We have an all-foam mattress which rests its weary flesh on a wooden frame that doesn't play well with bed skirts.

Here's an older picture of our room, and you can see the disaster that is the bed skirt. Frumpy and dumpy and grumpy.

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the long-awaited flag pole

Happy Monday! I know I've left you hanging on the pantry project, but we were infected with a sudden burst of Spring and were compelled to act upon it.

I've wanted a flag pole longer than there've been fishes in the ocean. There's just something about seeing Old Glory waving in the breeze that always brings a tear to my eye and a squeeze to my heart. I can't listen to the Star Spangled Banner being sung (well) without getting all choked up.

My research assistant (and resident hole digger) found just what we wanted. We purchased a telescoping pole and flag from Uncommon USA, Inc. The poles and flags are made here in the States (as they should be!).

The Hole Digger digs! I love watching a man work.

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diy upholstered headboard

Welcome! This was a fairly simple DIY project, assuming you have a Kreg Jig and a drill. You also need to know how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill, or have someone who knows how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill and also happens to love you.

You also need scissors. And a schtapler. And duct tape. Wait a minute. Nope, no duct tape for this one. Oh! And an iron! I'll shut up now.

My tutorial skills are downright enviable, you know.  In fact, I would say they are on even par with Eddie's ability to keep his beard clean.

Allow me to illustrate:

Now that you have zero expectations, we can continue.

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happy 14th birthday eddie!

Today marks Eddie the Schnauzer's unofficial 14th birthday! I say unofficial because he was roughly two years old when we adopted him and, as of today, it's been exactly twelve years since he came to rescue us.

He did have teeth, once upon a time. And more fur.

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walk-in closet makeover {part two}

Hello all you lovely people who haven't given up on me! And welcome newcomers!

(If you missed part one, check it out HERE.)

There was some really big news that may have included this:

Grandnugget is due in September!

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walk-in closet makeover {part one}

I'm back! Wait. I'm back and no one told me. Why am I always the last to know?

I have some SUPER-CRAZY-AWESOME news at the end of the post, so you don't want to miss this!

But first things first. Eddie says hello! Because let's face it--he's the most important (and most entertaining) mammal on this blog.

Answer to Q1: No, I don't know what's on his ridiculous nose.

Answer to Q2: Yes, those are Phil's sexy legs in the background. He's washing dishes which makes them even sexier.

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happy doggieversary to meeeee!

Hi!  It's me!  Eddie!

First of all, I'd like to give a big shout-out to my Buddy Franklin, who told me it was okay to take over Mom's Blog.

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rock me ama-daisy

I was visiting one of my favorite people (favorite because she gives me free plants and stuff--and she's just an all-around sweetie), and I see this fabulous mission-style rocking chair in her garage.

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that is one big-ass clock

THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID

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stool samples

These bar stools somehow found their way into my kitchen.

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treasures and guilty pleasures

So, I spent my kids' inheritance the other day.

Sorry kids.

I was having trouble stuffing roadside treasures in the trunk of my car, so Philly bought me a Jeep.  It's not like a JEEP Jeep...I won't be off-roading or driving through the desert and calling it a horse with no name or anything.

This is a Princess Jeep.  I can start my Jeep from my cell phone while sitting on the throne.  Or before I leave work.  Or while sitting at the bar.  Or on the throne at the bar.  It doesn't discriminate.

I know...I'm sofa king spoiled.

But, more importantly, I can stuff all kinds of treasures in the back of it.  It makes Philly so happy when I bring home other people's crap.

On the first day of owning my new guilty pleasure, we went shopping at Casa de 'Rents again.  Remember when I got my trunk?  Yeah, it's still sitting in the garage.  I haven't finished started scrubbing it down yet.

Anyhooser, I scored my first hatchback treasure. 

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there's a stranger in my house {eddie's first post}

Hi.  I'm Eddie.

My Mom's friend Janie Junebug lets her doggie Franklin write blog posts, so Mom decided to let me write one, too.

And it's a really important one! 

First off, here are some pictures of me so we can get better acquainted.

My Mom tells me all the time how cute I am and she's taken no less than 1 million pictures of me.

I don't have any teeth so it cracks her up when my tongue hangs out.

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