Wednesday, November 30, 2016

gracie chronicles vol. I

My bladder has gone rogue. I had surgery almost four weeks ago, and I still leak piddle like a sieve, and I'm so embarrassed. I heard Mom say diaper the other day, and I don't think she was talking about the Reese-Baby

Speaking of the Reese-Baby, Mom made this adhorrible picture of me and the Reese-Baby all smooshed together. We are a few of her favorite things, so let's see what we look like as a dog-baby stew, right?

She calls it Grace-Swap. She thinks she's so clever.

Woof. I am Greecie.



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Friday, November 18, 2016

reese lynn's quilt of many colors

Whoa. Thank goodness you're here.

I made two very important stops the other month. The purpose of those stops will reveal itself shortly.

Do you remember this?



And this?



Yeah, I'm way fatter than that now. What did you expect? My granddaughter was ready to come bursting forth from the womb at the moment I began typing this. And I've been gaining gran-pathy fat.

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Sunday, November 13, 2016

gracie

I want to eat The Cat.

I want to eat The Cat so badly I think she would be the tastiest of morsels.

My cat-eating plans continue to be thwarted.

So I will wait. I will be patient, even though that is not in a Schnauzer's nature. I will give Mom, Dad, and Cat a false sense of security.

Then I will make my oh-so-delicious move.

Woof. I am Gracie.



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Wednesday, November 2, 2016

the empty bowl

It's obvious when a bowl is empty, right?

It's a basic assumption we can recognize an empty bowl when we see one. Sometimes that empty bowl will stare us in the face, and yet, we look beyond it.

At other times, that empty bowl will slap us in the face and demand to be recognized.



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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

i like big decks and i cannot lie {part three}

It's officially mimosa time.

Why does everyone say "sip mimosas"? I heard these words fall out of my own mouth, and the lie echoed loudly in my ears. Let's slam mimosas. Because at least that has the ring of truth to it.

And I'll have none of that pulpy orange juice. If it doesn't flow willingly down the gullet, it tends to slow down (and, thus, ruin) the experience.

Better yet, let's make mimosas with apple cider, vodka, and bubbly. Because fall has arrived. My daughter, Emma, found this recipe and we had to try it out. Yum yum. 

I love drinking with children.




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Monday, September 19, 2016

big-screen tv gallery wall

Hello, and welcome to my wall! I like to call it the vomit wall, but I thought you might not have come for a visit had I called it so.

I'm quite sure you're all familiar with the gallery wall concept. I'm not plowing any new ground here, except for that in my own home. If you're unfamiliar with this ingenious design concept, you won't be for long.

If you are a minimalist and hate this type of design, continue at your own risk. You've been duly warned.

The purpose of this project was not to hide my big-ass TV. Or even my big ass. I've read quite a few posts on TV gallery walls, and the reason for their gallery was to "hide, camouflage, or disappear" the flat-screen.

Unless you hang a whale on the wall in front of my TV, you're going to see it.

Personally, I don't mind the big black blob on the wall. It helps me see Chris Hemsworth better. I do mind the endless space around the big black blob. It's a blah blob.

Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You, sir, are a mouthful.



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Monday, September 12, 2016

my heart overflows

I don't know how to begin this post. I suppose I will simply begin writing, and the words will come.

Some of you are aware I became a grandmother last week. 

(I'll pause here a moment to bask in the warmth of your disbelief.)

I don't know how it happened, but somewhere between sleeping and waking, this sweet baby boy grew up. Not that he had far to go, mind you. I swear he was using my uterus as a frat house, since he came out mostly grown at ten pounds, ten ounces.

Twenty-five years ago.

Toting an empty beer bottle.

While driving a car.

Blasting AC/DC.

And sporting tats.



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Tuesday, September 6, 2016

i like big decks and i cannot lie {part two}

Phil's out playing with his deck again. By himself. Where everyone can see.

As if the neighbors didn't have enough to complain about.

Here's where we left off with our $437,000 deck:



What's that? You don't think it looks like a $437,000 deck? In all honesty, neither do I. Except for this next bit.

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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

get drunk and paint a picture night

Do you have those paint-and-drink studios where you live? You know, where you can have an artist walk you through the steps of creating a masterpiece, all while imbibing your favorite tasty alcoholic beverage? My daughter calls this the "get-drunk-and-paint-a-picture thing."

She's a girl after my own heart.

Meet Emma. I love this picture of us. She doesn't always dress up in leopard spandex with pink and green sprouts in her hair, although she should. In fact, I like the look so much, I think I'll run out and get my own similar combo.

This picture was after her unforgettable performance as Paulette in Legally Blonde this summer.

She. Was. Awesome.



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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

checkerboard accent table

Ummm...Hi?

If you'd warned me you were coming, I would have put on a bra.

Quite a few of you told me recently that you'd gone back and read some of my very early posts. Let me tell you the pain and humiliation I'm feeling right now.

I'm feeling pain and humiliation right now.

True confession: When I started this blog, I had never read a blog. I didn't follow blogs. I had no idea what a blog was, beyond the fact it was a "web log," which eventually became known as a "blog."

I wanted to document the building of our new home, and I knew if I didn't do it electronically, it was never going to happen. I am not a scrapbooker. That would require organizational (and artsificational) skills beyond my ken. Therefore, I took tentative steps into the unknown and breathed life into delusions. (As a side note, this little slice of heaven just had its fourth bloggiversary!)

I posted some projects to get my feet wet and learn the ropes. One of my earliest furniture makeovers is still one of my favorites. This sassy accent table lives right next to my sofa, which, in turn, lives right behind my Neurotic Buffet.

The original post makes me cringe. Thankfully, it hasn't received much attention or adulation. The original post blew chunks. But I feel this table deserves a second chance at notoriety. Won't you help a table out?



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Friday, August 19, 2016

i like big decks and i cannot lie {part one}

Well, hello there!

I thought I'd catch you up on Phil's Summer 2016 project:


The $437,000 Deck

I may be exaggerating a wee bit, but it certainly has been pricey. Perhaps we would have gone with a more conservative plan had we realized how much of our kids' inheritance we were going to be spending.

Maybe something like this:


source
That would have been totally affordable. 
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Sunday, August 7, 2016

DIY wedding date sign

Salutations!

I have a fun little project today that will segue (at a later date) into a larger project that's been in the works for several months. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, m'kay?

Right now it's all about Adversity Day. Because it's today! 

Today marks seventeen years of Phil and Andi avoiding death at each other's hands. If you missed my other Adversity Day posts, you can see them here and here and here!

Remember when I stole a bunch of rough-sawn cedar from our neighbor and we made amazing things out of it? Like our Pot Farm? And our DIY Headboard? And our Trellis of all Time?

We still have scads left over, and since neither Phil nor I can ever remember when or why we got married, I thought I'd make us a little sign to mark that blessed event.

At least it will remind us of when we got married, if not why.

Phil cut four boards and used his Kreg jig to screw them together. I slapped together some type I liked and printed it out. I'm pretty sure I got the date right. I sure hope so, otherwise it defeats the whole purpose of the project, and this blog post can go straight into the "fail" column.



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