Saturday, May 28, 2016

the trellis of all time

Hello, my fellow delusionals! I'm so happy you're here, even though I do realize most of you are only here for Eddie. I can't say that I blame you.

Any time Philly or I come up with something far more fabulous and amazing than what our Visa card alone can provide, we call it the "blank" of all time.

For example, Eddie is the Schnauzer of all time.

Oh, my sweetness. Can you believe him???

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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

landscaping around the flag pole, Master Yoda, and ticks

Greetings! I hope you're all having a wonderful week. I was the lucky recipient of a colonoscopy recently, which is more fun than a tick infestation. (More on that later.) I love coming out of the anesthesia and discovering which random quote will fall from my numb, dry lips.

This one was Philly's all-time favorite. I clearly believed I was dying, so I raised my head ever-so-slightly and uttered, "But Master Yoda, you can't die..."

Obviously, I'm a Jedi Master.

You can't make that shit up.

Did you see my beautiful flag? And look at that amazing landscaping surrounding it. The way the parched, dried earth surrounds and embraces the dandelions? I'm awesome at gardening.

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Friday, May 13, 2016

F the cork monogram

Happy Friday!

I am far more skilled as a drinker of wine than I am as a crafter of crafts. In fact, I'm a firm believer that wine can only enhance the crafting experience, and, subsequently, the completed craft. I failed miserably at crafting as a kid (now we know why--the only wine to which I had access was Communion wine--no crafting going on then), and I haven't improved much through the ages of stretch marks and bunions. I have attempted two hang things for my front door and they both sucked. I can make quilts of my own design, I dabble in cross-stitch, but other than that, I'm useless.

When you're a wino, and you have a couple of wino sisters, you tend to acquire more corks than a teenager does pimples. That is, of course, after you graduate from the boxed wines to those bottle-shaped bottles that actually come with corks. Corks are a total bonus.

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Friday, May 6, 2016

andi's pantry project {part 3 - DIY concrete countertops}

Welcome friends! And a special welcome to all my new stalkers who found me through my recent post on Hometalk!

I know I left my Panties hanging, but they're back. And bigger and better than ever.

If you missed Part One, check it out HERE.
If you missed Part Two, check it out HERE.

Disclaimer: NOT a tutorial. At all. We had no idea what we were doing and still don't. Like, ever.

I was truly excited about this segment.

Am I the only one who thinks about worms when they hear the word segment? Or better yet, Tootsie Rolls. Wait. Dog poop! My friend Bliss has the best dog poop sign ever. I want to be Bliss when I grow up. But I find growing up elusive. I also seem to be unable to stay on task. Squirrel.

Here's where we left off. Doesn't it look awesome? It gets ugly in a minute.

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Monday, May 2, 2016

tailoring a bed skirt

Since the dawn of time, bed skirts have conspired to crush my soul. Oh, the lifting of the mattress, the positioning of the skirt, the replacing of the mattress. The intense physical combat. The sweating and the swearing. Well, I actually enjoy the swearing part.

We have an all-foam mattress which rests its weary flesh on a wooden frame that doesn't play well with bed skirts.

Here's an older picture of our room, and you can see the disaster that is the bed skirt. Frumpy and dumpy and grumpy.

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