Upholstery is not my forte.
Did you know forte is pronounced "fort," and not "for-tay"? While "for-tay" is a widely-accepted pronunciation, if you love being right (at the cost of your only friend thinking you are an idiot), pronounce it "fort." It's a great conversation starter.
It's really not a great conversation starter.
Wine. Wine is a great conversation starter. Especially if you are talking to yourself. I have tons of experience with this, so let me know if you need some pointers.
I bought this chair ra-cheer.
I'm pointing out the three-year layer of dust, because people always seem to notice it anyway, and think I'm completely oblivious. I just want you to know I totally notice this stuff after I take pictures of it, and I still post it for billions of people to see.
Click here to read more »
Since the dawn of time, bed skirts have conspired to crush my soul. Oh, the lifting of the mattress, the positioning of the skirt, the replacing of the mattress. The intense physical combat. The sweating and the swearing. Well, I actually enjoy the swearing part.
We have an all-foam mattress which rests its weary flesh on a wooden frame that doesn't play well with bed skirts.
Here's an older picture of our room, and you can see the disaster that is the bed skirt. Frumpy and dumpy and grumpy.
Click here to read more »
Welcome! This was a fairly simple DIY project, assuming you have a Kreg Jig and a drill. You also need to know how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill, or have someone who knows how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill and also happens to love you.
You also need scissors. And a schtapler. And duct tape. Wait a minute. Nope, no duct tape for this one. Oh! And an iron! I'll shut up now.
My tutorial skills are downright enviable, you know. In fact, I would say they are on even par with Eddie's ability to keep his beard clean.
Allow me to illustrate:
Now that you have zero expectations, we can continue.
Click here to read more »
I hope you all survived Halloween. I managed to claw my way out from the onslaught of 11 trick-or-treaters.
I was going to give this post a sweet title about my chair, Rosie. But Rosie turned out to be a bit of a poophead. Actually, it wasn't her fault but I was left with the same poopheadedness feeling.
Let's begin.
When Phil's mom passed away, we ended up with a few million of her things. One was a dining table and chairs set. I didn't know what to do with it, so I decided to take it to Goodwill. My sister bitch-slapped me and said to give it to her instead. Okeydokey. So it went to be a foster child (children?) at her house. She needed the extra chairs for family holiday gatherings and I needed stuff to not be in my basement.
Years later, she decided she didn't want it in her basement anymore, so it went to live in servitude with Emma in her first apartment.
Then Emma moved into an efficiency and guess what? Dining Set came full circle. Who says you can't go home again?
Naturally, I don't have pictures of the whole set because I'm only playing with one chair this entire month today. Maybe someday I'll make them all over (shoot me), but for now, I just want one cute little chair to sit in front of my Gramma's sewing machine.
Here's how she started out:
Click here to read more »
My daughter moved into a sweet little efficiency apartment which means I am the lucky recipient of all her stuff that doesn't fit in it.
It's a good thing she's tiny.
That's okay though. My parents are still storing some of my crap too. Namely, the pool table we got for free from Philly's sister.
That, and all those sweet antiques I'm going to steal when they're senile enough not to notice they're gone. I already scored this trunk and sewing cabinet. But those don't count since I didn't acquire them by stealth.
This desk set (I use the term "set" loosely...I'm pretty sure they're a blended family) was one of the treasures to come home to roost.
That means Mama uses it however she wants.
Like to support her laptop. And her generous ass.
Click here to read more »
I was visiting one of my favorite people (favorite because she gives me free plants and stuff--and she's just an all-around sweetie), and I see this fabulous mission-style rocking chair in her garage.
Click here to read more »
