Friday, October 25, 2013

andi's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea

You know how my blog is called, "delusions of ingenuity"?  Yeah.  There's a reason for that.

Somehow, I managed to successfully paint my current backsplash, as well as my mom's backsplash.  I got the idea from the geniuses at Sawdust & Embryos.   I wanted the look of tile without the commitment.

Kinda like how I want to look like Tricia Helfer without all the hard work it would take to get there.  And stay there.

Now I'm obsessed with hexagon tile.  For a backsplash, a bathroom floor, the exterior of a new name it.


Since even I'm not delusional enough to believe I could tape off THAT pattern, I sought a stencil.

Royal Design Studio has a fabulous hex tile pattern, but the hexes were too big for my taste. 

Then I found this one in the kids' section (I opted not to use the bee).

It was the perfect size hex.  However, it didn't come with the "bonus" stencil for going around the ceiling.

I was hexed and vexed.  But I endeavored to persevere.  Of course, I had to start over 3 different times, but I finally finished.

Conclusion?  I suck at stenciling.  Or, at least, I suck at stenciling when a very small pattern repeat is the subject of that stencil.  I think I could have done a great job if I'd had a very small area to do that didn't involve any corners or electrical wires flipping me off.  The fitting for my pot sticker didn't help much either.  But since I had to deal with all that, I pretty much hated every minute of it.

Some swear words may have been uttered.

I was cussing up a storm.

I think I would have enjoyed it much more after a box of wine.  It may have even looked better, too.

The Royal Design cremes are AWESOME.  They're also too Mettalica for the look I was going for.

SO.  I blended the following:

RD Antique Silver Creme
RD Pearl Oyster Creme
Flat white latex paint

I used the larger of the 2 RD brushes.  Philly helped me with the corner, and the brush ended up in our mouths at different points because we ran out of hands.  We started referring to brush as a cigar.

I've since named them Bill and Monica. 

If I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't add the varnish.  It mucked up the stencil. 

Actually, If I could go back and do it again, I'd go to a bar instead.

The pictures are horrible because of the terrible lighting.  Parts of it actually look fairly genius in person.  Other parts....meh.  I'm hoping once all the cabs and appliances are in it will look okay.

But the whole point of this exercise was to see if I liked the result without the commitment.  I always have the option of tiling over it. 

Zoltar, will I have tile in my future?

Zoltar says as long as someone keeps feeding him quarters, my tile wish will eventually come true.

And it's gonna be Big.


  1. YOu have a lot more patience than I do girl!! I totally suck at stenciling...always have. Yours looks pretty good to me! LMAO at Zoltar!!

  2. That's quite an undertaking, crazy lady! So, do you love it or has the paint roller been dialed up?
    Or are you at the bar??? Zoltar, where is Andi? Was the stencil a BIG hit?

  3. Andi! I can't believe you did all that with that little stencil!! I would have been rolled up in the fetal position in a corner after that! It looks fabulous!

  4. LOVE IT! So much so that I may try to do this in my kitchen when my husband isn't looking. You know why I like you Andi? Only someone super cool can work obscure 80's movie quotes into a post about a backsplash.

  5. OMG!! You are sooo awesomely bad!!! Bill and Monica!!! LMAO!!! Your backsplash looks fabulous!!

  6. Oh, good god. Would you like to come over and get all the extra tile that's sitting in my garage? It's too expensive to mail it. I suppose the gas for driving here would cost more, but I'd buy a box of wine for us. That would make it worth the drive.


  7. Wow looks great!! I love it! This is great watching you do all this work! JKidding, but that was a lot of work! It really looks nice.

  8. From where I stand in Brittany it looks absolutely fabulous! When I see the painting of my walls in the kitchen, all I see are the places where I didn't roll enough or didn't sand enough, but everybody coming in asks me the name of my painter to hire him!
    Is there a reason why Bill is smaller than Monica???

  9. Now....take a tiny brush and paint a wee line of shadow beneath every one of those hexigons. THEN take the oyster white, add a wee bit of dark gray and line the "grout" to give it dimension. Then......

    Hate me yet?

  10. You are way too hard on yourself! I think it looks pretty damned good! I am terrible at stenciling and try to avoid it at All costs. You know I was 16 when Big came out in the theaters and saw it on a date :)

  11. That looks awesome. I can't believe you have the patience for that! Wowzer :)

  12. I think it looks pretty good but don't take that as a compliment. I really, really suck at stenciling.

  13. I'm not sure about the names of those brushes. You wash them out good please.

  14. that is way A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I mean, really awesome. Love the end result

  15. You give new meaning to the word PATIENCE! If I had any 'delusions' of doing a project like this, I'm pretty sure a bong would be close by for reinforcement (and some chunky monkey).

    Looks fabulous though, so your patience paid off!

  16. That is pretty impressive! Now I know why I was drinking were off being artsy!

  17. Oh my goodness, what a brilliant idea to stencil it! I love this, then you can change it up rather easily if you ever want to do something else. It WAS a lot of work, but... you did it! I hate tedious stuff like that, it drives me bonkers!

  18. holy moly. this looks reallllly reallllly good!

  19. OMG! That is a stenciling job I'd never want to tackle with Bill and Monica. It does look pretty cool, though. :)

  20. Like it!!! no, Love it!!! Commit. I love hexi tile. Not sure I'd want to use a brush named Bill or Monica. Just saying, you gotta wonder where that puppy has been. I'd have to wash my hands with bleach after.

  21. Love your blog posts, so funny! The stenciling looks great from here.

  22. It looks great I am desperate to try some stenciling but so far too scared, and I LOVE hexis.
    Bill and Monica...dying!!!

  23. Bleach those brushes!

    I stenciled the top of a bookcase poorly once and gave up. I hated every minute of it!

    You are hilarious. I haven't seen Zoltar in so long... Thanks for bringing him/ it back!

  24. Wow. You are completely brave for even attempting such a small pattern!

  25. I don't even hang up pictures. Too much work. Nice job!!


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