Saturday, April 4, 2020

tv wall revisited {board and batten}

Hello, my people!

Are you still there?

Are you keeping your fingers out of other people's noses?

Are you refraining from licking the canned corn at Wal-Mart?

Are you dug in like an Alabama tick? We are! Like two of them, actually, and getting fatter by the minute. I expect us to burst any moment now.

I know I've been absent for a very long time, and I was doubtful I would ever be back. But, circumstances dictate otherwise!

A couple years ago, I went back to work full-time, and that was the beginning of the steady decline of this here little piece of heaven on earth. But, since the worldwide CoronaCation has begun, I find myself with extra wine on my hands, and the need to boss Philly around. Fear not! I'm using my powers for good!

While I'm still working full-time (from home), I can start my day much earlier, because I no longer have a commute, and showers are optional. My bras are all on sabbatical until this is over. As are all depilatory devices. My moustache/nose hair combo should be in full bloom by the time I go back to the office. I can't wait.

But hey! Let's talk about how to build a wall! Actually, there are a ton of tutorials out there for doing what we did, and this is nothing original. Just like those thin mint cookies I just ate. Seriously. What happened to those?

Some of you remember where this wall started. A long time ago.

Awww...Eddie's rope toy! Miss you, buddy!




If you want to see the whole post on how I created my gallery wall a few years back, and information about the individual pieces, you can see that HERE. But here it is at a glance. 






I loved all that stuff. Still do! As it happens, since we've been apart, I've acquired the board and batten bug. If you're still interested in hearing from me in the future, I can provide updates on the other B&B projects we've completed. But for now, the wall.

All of this occurred in one weekend, and by the time we were finished, we were wiped out like every retailer's supply of toilet paper. We were total high-energy maniacs getting shit done that first weekend of seclusion.

Now we're this:



Right before everyone was buttoned down around here, Philly made a supply run to Menards and picked up everything we needed to complete the wall. While he was off messing about, I took everything off the wall and spackled holes. And slapped yo mama some primer on the bottom part of the wall. 



I added white paint at the bottom and repainted the top gray (Benjamin Moore Smoke Embers).



Then Dapper Dude Donned his Daytime Dandies:



Look just above! It's Butter Chair! Hahaha I love that story!

And on the weekend went. He put up the battens, and I followed with 427 coats of paint. Since this is fake board and batten, there were no boards harmed in the building of this wall.



Until finally, we had this. The arrows indicate things I want you to look at. They are the built-in speakers for the sound system. And we painted them to match where they live! Whoa. Okay, so not that exciting. But you should pay close attention to the perfect spacing of the battens around the lower speakers, because Philly mathed super hard to get them perfect. And he scored!



We threw everything back together in time to watch an episode of Broadchurch before passing out Sunday night.



Of course, I had to add a few things back up on the wall above the battens. Don't think for one second I was going to leave that alone.



See that rocking chair in the corner? Of course you do. My mom gave that to me when my oldest was born. Twenty-nine-holy-crap years ago. I'm going to paint it black. Maybe right now while you wait.



You like? I hope so because those suckers are never coming off that wall without needing new drywall. We love it!

In other news, homeschooling is going well so far.



Although, at one point, Philly's teacher got completely freaked out because he had these weird dents in the top of his head, and for the life of her, she couldn't remember hitting him with that ax.



She finally figured out it was from wearing his glasses on top of his head instead of in front of his face. No prison time after all.

Gracie and I can't stop baking and cooking. They are our superpowers and keep us from going insane. While everything we make is very tasty, she much prefers to eat our coveted supply of toilet paper in an attempt to trash our retirement savings.



She's not picky. She'll even eat it right off the wall.



I think she's sick of us being home all the time.




How are all of you doing? Staying safe, I hope!

Since it's been 533 days since I've posted one of these, I don't even know if this is going to work. If it does, I hope this post finds you all well!



41 comments:

  1. Robin DefenbaughApril 4, 2020 at 3:17 PM

    Oh boy, have I missed you and your emails!!! We all need emails like this right now!

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  2. Thank you! Some humor is very welcome right now!

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  3. As usual you are hilarious. I have missed reading about your exploits. We work from home on a normal non Corona kind of day/week/month/year, so the stay at home part is nothing new. But, I miss popping to the store for what I want when I want. If I wanted a Twinkie just because then I could go but now I have to tell myself it's the Apocalypse and Twinkies no longer exists. I don't even like Twinkies but because I can't have one I want one. I hope that makes sense. Stay healthy and hopefully you come back to blog on the regular, we miss you and your humor and your sweet pup.

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    1. OMG TWINKIES!! I don't particularly care for them either (but I do love me some Ding Dongs)...but I totally get where you're coming from! I'm happy you came to visit!

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  4. Welcome back! It was so much fun reading this post. Thanks for the laugh.

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    1. You're welcome! Thanks for the visit and the hello! :)

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  5. It HAS been a long time. Missed your delight! Great post.

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  6. Loved catching up with you! The wall looks great.

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  7. You’re here! You’re here! I am so happy to see you! I can’t believe this is a wall post as I helped a friend do up her wall a la delusions of ingenuity with stuff she loved after you showed us it was a good idea. Your new look is awesome too!

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    1. I'm happy you're happy!! And P.S....those walls you showed me are amazeballs!

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  8. YAY SHE'S BACK!!!❤️❤️❤️

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  9. You have been missed!! I loved the old wall but I love this new wall, too.
    The homeschooling looks challenging. ;) Please keep posting!! :)

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  10. Welcome back! We have missed you and the adorable pup and hubby! Please keep it coming. With love from Ireland

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    1. Wow! Ireland! I'm very happy to hear from you...keep safe over there!

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  11. 'scuse me, but do I know you? The humor is familiar, but I'm still not sure. AH! The hubs and the pup are the best clues! Welcome back!! Hope this isn't just a one time thing. The with-drawls are just too painful. This is first positive thing I've seen from this horrible flu! So if it takes more of it to keep you coming to my inbox, I figure its a fair trade. Love you girl!!!!

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    1. I already have another one in the hopper, my sweet friend! I'm so happy you came to visit!! :)

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  12. Boy have I missed your humor! Hope you continue posting at least on a semi-regular basis. The wall looks great and I am glad to see homeschool is going well.😁

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    1. I'm killing it with this homeschooling thing! ;) Thanks for the visit!

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  13. Good to get a good chuckle from your post. The wall looks great. Welcome back.

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  14. I am still here and you still make me smile. The wall looks good, you brilliant twosome.

    Love,
    Janie

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  15. I love that you are back and I get the biggest kick from your sense of humor. And you have pretty good taste, too!

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  16. Well it's about time! Actually way too long! Glad you're back!!

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  17. That looks so swanky.
    Something something obligatory clock comment.

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  18. I have wondered and wondered what the heck happened to you. I'm so glad it was a profitable reason. Do try to join us once in a while. We love your emails. The wall looks fab, by the way.

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    1. Aw...thanks so much! I'm happy you stopped in!

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  19. Ok, I do not even recall signing up for this blog, but wow, that is the stuff! Laughter is the best medicine, and your sense of humor is right up my twisted alley! Thank you so much for coming out of the woodwork to dazzle us with this gem!!

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    1. Haha! Well, it was probably a long time ago--maybe after seeing me on Hometalk? Anyway, I'm glad you came to visit instead of pitching me in the trash. ;)

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