tv wall revisited {board and batten}

Hello, my people!

Are you still there?

Are you keeping your fingers out of other people's noses?

Are you refraining from licking the canned corn at Wal-Mart?

Are you dug in like an Alabama tick? We are! Like two of them, actually, and getting fatter by the minute. I expect us to burst any moment now.

I know I've been absent for a very long time, and I was doubtful I would ever be back. But, circumstances dictate otherwise!

A couple years ago, I went back to work full-time, and that was the beginning of the steady decline of this here little piece of heaven on earth. But, since the worldwide CoronaCation has begun, I find myself with extra wine on my hands, and the need to boss Philly around. Fear not! I'm using my powers for good!

While I'm still working full-time (from home), I can start my day much earlier, because I no longer have a commute, and showers are optional. My bras are all on sabbatical until this is over. As are all depilatory devices. My moustache/nose hair combo should be in full bloom by the time I go back to the office. I can't wait.

But hey! Let's talk about how to build a wall! Actually, there are a ton of tutorials out there for doing what we did, and this is nothing original. Just like those thin mint cookies I just ate. Seriously. What happened to those?

Some of you remember where this wall started. A long time ago.

Awww...Eddie's rope toy! Miss you, buddy!

If you want to see the whole post on how I created my gallery wall a few years back, and information about the individual pieces, you can see that HERE. But here it is at a glance. 

I loved all that stuff. Still do! As it happens, since we've been apart, I've acquired the board and batten bug. If you're still interested in hearing from me in the future, I can provide updates on the other B&B projects we've completed. But for now, the wall.

All of this occurred in one weekend, and by the time we were finished, we were wiped out like every retailer's supply of toilet paper. We were total high-energy maniacs getting shit done that first weekend of seclusion.

Now we're this:

Right before everyone was buttoned down around here, Philly made a supply run to Menards and picked up everything we needed to complete the wall. While he was off messing about, I took everything off the wall and spackled holes. And slapped yo mama some primer on the bottom part of the wall. 

I added white paint at the bottom and repainted the top gray (Benjamin Moore Smoke Embers).

Then Dapper Dude Donned his Daytime Dandies:

Look just above! It's Butter Chair! Hahaha I love that story!

And on the weekend went. He put up the battens, and I followed with 427 coats of paint. Since this is fake board and batten, there were no boards harmed in the building of this wall.

Until finally, we had this. The arrows indicate things I want you to look at. They are the built-in speakers for the sound system. And we painted them to match where they live! Whoa. Okay, so not that exciting. But you should pay close attention to the perfect spacing of the battens around the lower speakers, because Philly mathed super hard to get them perfect. And he scored!

We threw everything back together in time to watch an episode of Broadchurch before passing out Sunday night.

Of course, I had to add a few things back up on the wall above the battens. Don't think for one second I was going to leave that alone.

See that rocking chair in the corner? Of course you do. My mom gave that to me when my oldest was born. Twenty-nine-holy-crap years ago. I'm going to paint it black. Maybe right now while you wait.

You like? I hope so because those suckers are never coming off that wall without needing new drywall. We love it!

In other news, homeschooling is going well so far.

Although, at one point, Philly's teacher got completely freaked out because he had these weird dents in the top of his head, and for the life of her, she couldn't remember hitting him with that ax.

She finally figured out it was from wearing his glasses on top of his head instead of in front of his face. No prison time after all.

Gracie and I can't stop baking and cooking. They are our superpowers and keep us from going insane. While everything we make is very tasty, she much prefers to eat our coveted supply of toilet paper in an attempt to trash our retirement savings.

She's not picky. She'll even eat it right off the wall.

I think she's sick of us being home all the time.

How are all of you doing? Staying safe, I hope!

Since it's been 533 days since I've posted one of these, I don't even know if this is going to work. If it does, I hope this post finds you all well!