1. What are you wearing?
But, if you must know, look HERE. I'm donning that, and a few nipple hairs.
2. Ever been in love?
But Mama, I LOOOOOOVE him! Of course.
3. Ever have a terrible break-up?
Married uber-young. Divorced before most intelligent life forms have even considered getting married. What do you think?
4. How tall are you?
Five feet, eight inches.
Five feet, seven-and-a-half inches. I don't know. It changes every time I go to the doctor.
5. How much do you weigh?
127 pounds. On my wedding day. Both of them.
Currently? That same exact weight. From the boobs up.
6. Any tattoos?
No. After earning my stretch marks, I've had an aversion to anything else permanently etched into my skin. But, by God, I earned those stretch marks.
7. Any piercings?
Ears, multiple times, but I only wear one set now. Occasionally, I re-poke out the old holes just to feel young and sassy. (I am totally stealing from Marianne on this one....we're twinsies!)
8. OTP (One true pair, favorite fictional couple?)
Princess Leia and Han Solo. Shit. Wait. That was fiction?
9. Favorite Show?
Again, Marianne stole my answer. Breaking Bad. My husband looks like Heisenberg. It's cool as hell. We even bought him "the hat."
10. Favorite Bands?
Marianne is my sister from another primate. I love the Monkees too. But I'm going with Kansas.
11. Something you miss?
My tight ass. I used to run marathons.
12. Favorite Song?
Dust in the Wind.
Now I'm completely depressed. My happy place!
13. How old are you?
Ummmm...44. At the moment.
14. Zodiac sign?
I never learned how to sign.
15. Quality to look for in a partner.
Someone who knows how to fix shit. The right way.
And who loves me, even though I'm not "what he bought."
16. Favorite Quote?
"Is it just me, or am I tired?"
-my baby girl, Emma
17. Favorite Actor?
18. Favorite Color?
The color of sparkly diamonds.
19. Loud music or soft?
I mostly go for books on CD.
20. Where do you go when you are sad?
To wine. (Stole from Marianne again....but I go there happy, too...)
21. How long does it take you to shower?
Depends if Sasquatch has to shave.
22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Ready for what?
23. Ever been in a physical fight?
Yes. My freshman year in high school, my friend Amy and I were bullied by a junior and a senior. They kept taunting us and calling us lesbians. Seriously? Had I been gay, I wouldn't have had a divorce or stretch marks. I finally took matters into my own hands. They never bothered us again.
24. Turn on?
#6 from Battlestar Galactica. Maybe I need to rethink that gay thing.
There's an off switch?
26. The reason I started blogging?
Heisenberg and I built our dream home. It's ongoing. I wanted a place I could document our dream because I suck at scrap-booking. I don't even have photo books of my kids.
But I have 10,000 pictures of my dog.
Losing a child. And not like that one time at the mall. Who told you??
28. Last thing that made you cry?
My colon. It's shitty.
29. Last time you said you loved someone?
Well, it certainly wasn't my damn cat.
30. Meaning behind the name of your blog (Delusions of Ingenuity)?
There's supposed to be a meaning?
31. Last book you read?
The Apprentice by Tess Gerritsen.
32. Book you are currently reading?
Abducted - A Lizzy Gardner Novel. It was a freebie I downloaded on Mr. Kindle. It's....okay. It's really well-written in some places, and in others, it feels like someone else took over.
33. Last show you watched?
The Good Wife. No wait...Rizzoli and Isles. No wait...
This could go on forever.
34. Last person you talked to?
Phil. But he usually does most the talking.
He's in sales.
35. The relationship between you and the person you just texted?
My sweet daughter.
36. Favorite food?
37. Place you want to visit?
Scotland. I would love to get my ass back in gear and run the Loch Ness Marathon and see Nessie. And I'm obsessed with the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon.
38. Last place you were?
Most likely in the crapper.
39. Do you have a crush?
Well, I do like Marianne.
40. Last time you kissed someone?
Phil. No. Eddie.
41. Last time you were insulted?
I can't remember, but it was probably when someone told me my memory sucks.
42. Favorite flavor of sweet?
43. What instruments do you play?
I used to be pretty fly at the piano. Now I let my daughter wear that title.
44. Favorite piece of jewelry?
45. Last sport you played?
Does laundry count?
46. Last song you sang?
Probably Take a Chance on Me. Every once in a while, Phil and I get in our Abba groove and he does backup. Freaks the kids the hell out.
47. Favorite chat up line?
Yeah...I got nothin.
48. Have you ever used it?
49. Last time you hung out with anyone?
I don't really hang. So I guess that would be Phil since we've kinda shacked up.
50. Who should answer these questions next?
I'm passing the torch to:
My bestie, Heather, at the Beating Hearth.
Hilarious Bliss at Bliss Ranch.
Says-it-like-it-is Dana at Witless Relocation Program.
My dry-wit hero, Janie Junebug at WOMEN: We Shall Overcome.
Of course, no obligation. But I know where you live.
Okay, I don't. So no biggie if you don't want to play.