Tuesday, September 6, 2016

i like big decks and i cannot lie {part two}

Phil's out playing with his deck again. By himself. Where everyone can see.

As if the neighbors didn't have enough to complain about.

Here's where we left off with our $437,000 deck:

What's that? You don't think it looks like a $437,000 deck? In all honesty, neither do I. Except for this next bit.

Remember the delivery?

We decided to use composite decking rather than conventional materials. Like wood. And stain. It costs way more money, and we're keeping our fingers crossed we live long enough to reap the benefits of maintenance-freedomtownfieldville.

Here's Phil's butt in case you didn't recognize it. At this point, he's added the tall border-board things. Wait a minute. Fascia board. Yeah, like that's part of everyone's everyday vocabulary.

Oh, and here's Anthony's butt. Right about now he's contemplating whether he can walk up those steps without turning one or both of his ankles into puddles of mush while simultaneously ramming one of those posts into his ear. 

It could happen.

Fortunately, common sense prevailed. He began wrapping all the joists with flashing tape instead. And he's happy to do it! See?

And here's Phil, making a complete mess of my patio.

But look! He also made steps! Redemption.

Eddie was not on Foreman Duty today. Today, it was all up to Jiminy.

Jim-Jiminy, Jim-Jiminy, Jim-Jim, Jeroooo....

Yes, I know Jiminy was a cricket, and this is a grasshopper, but let's face it. Jiminy looks more like a grasshopper than a cricket anyway.

Isn't he cool? Grasshoppers have been nuts this year. Have you noticed that too?

Phil is covering up all my balance beams!

Good thing the Olympics are over or I might take that one seriously. Me and a balance beam? That would end in an ugly, horrifying mess.

I've got him right where I want him.

In case you were wondering about Eddie, he really does give a shit.

Just not about the deck.

I don't care who you are, pooping dogs are hilarious. Notice how he's turned his head away from the camera in shame?

With that, I'll leave you with the end of Number Two. (It seemed appropriate, given the previous fecal matter.)

You may be wondering why there's a gap by the slider. Mostly, I don't care that you noticed, but it's a really interesting story:

We ran out of boards.

Which means the deck just got more expensive yet. But the end is in sight.

The end of the deck, that is.

I'll leave you with the carnage on the patio. We're going to have a fam damily cookout yet this year, so we've got to finish up soon!

And there's still no grandbaby. I've decided it's all been a big hoax. Or I'm going to wake up in the shower and find out it's all been a dream.

If you missed big deck part one, you can catch up HERE.

Have a wonderful week!


  1. Oh Andi, Phil, Anthony, Eddie and Jimmy... the deck's got some staaahhhlll. :) I especially like the "we have liability insurance!" gap. :) Seriously though, it's coming along beautifully. Your whole fam damily is going to go bonkers over this! Now Eddie just can't use the deck as a potty. Thanks for all the laughs. :))) Christina in FL

  2. That is going to be one fantabulous deck when it's done--and with no maintenance--whoohoo!! Poor Eddie, though. Karma would disown me if I took a picture of her pooping in her cat box--LOL! I'm sure he'll recover in time. ;)

  3. Now that Philly is a pro do you think he'd mind coming up to Canada and redoing mine? It is a mess! I am so jealous you are getting a composite deck and it is huge! I can't wait to see the finished product! (The deck not what Eddie was making! )

    1. Ha! Yes, it's going to more deck than we imagined! We've heard some horror stories about composite, but I have full faith that he's done everything the right way and it will outlive us!


  4. How can you do that to poor Eddie? Penelope pooped a few minutes ago (in the backyard). I told her she's a good girl, and then I sent her Human Brother out to scoop the yard. You will not see a photo of a pooping Penelope. She would be so embarrassed. As for the deck, it becomes more and more gorgeous. No one who works on my house smiles.


  5. Just throw a rug over that gap by the door. It's much cheaper.

    1. Thus the term "liability insurance gap". Although, I think throwing a rug over it would imply conscience of guilt in a court. And I am almost positive someone in the fam damily would sue. Especially if there were dreams of a grandbaby someday soon.

  6. What do your neighbors got growing in that garden over yonder, and what is baby's due date? I'm thinking neither can be picked till they are ready.

  7. Thanks for a good laugh! Yes, dogs pooping is always funny! They will NEVER make eye contact! Lol

  8. I have been thinking recently that I would love to have a deck out the back of this house but really don't have the room oh yeah there is also the fact that we rent too.

  9. Poor Eddie, talking to his shadow about that crazy lady with the camera!

    Come on little baby! Granny is going to deck someone if she has to wait much longer!

  10. Thanks for all the butt shots...but I must say, that Anthony is a serious cutie patootie! He'll never out-cute Phil though. When you've got a man that can build the things he does, his cute meter goes through the roof. Oh, I like your deck, too. You are the most fun of all the blogs I read! Love to Eddie. Your #1 stalker, Dona

    1. I'm sure there will be more butt shots in the future!!!

  11. Oh, man... great photo of Eddie. The timing on that is perfect. LOL. Your husband is so handy and that deck is looking mighty dandy! I can't wait to see the final reveal!!


  12. Now that I've had my wine and a good Andi chuckle, I'm off to bed. Can't wait to see the deck railsngoin up. I've been told they are the worst to get straight. More wine please.

  13. Well, you DO have a grandbaby as of my recent FB gazing so congratulations on being a grandma, Grandi! Maybe that's why Eddie was engaging in such shenanigans? In jealousy. Oh, no. Or maybe he's mad at you because he's terrified of falling thru the gap? Your posts are the highlight of any day, my friend.
    Enjoy your new baby snuggles. xoxo, T.

  14. If I didn't know better, I'd say Phil ran out of board so that there's a hole right in front of the window for you to sprain your ankle.


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