Friday, November 29, 2013

a day late and a turkey short

Here's how we roll.

Thanksgiving ON Thanksgiving?  Never happens with my kids.

This year it was Friday.  Today in fact!

Talk about your easy T-day celebration.  I have no functioning kitchen.  This was the perfect excuse for not preparing a damn thing.  I take that back.  I did stuff a bunch of disgusting mushrooms with sausage.  Since I won't eat the nasty little boogers myself, I may or may not have been diligent in cleaning them first.  Don't tell my family members who may or may not have consumed them.

My son and I picked up a bunch of fun, finger-friendly foodstuffs for T-day.

WWAF (what we ate Friday) -- (in no particular order):

  • Take-n-bake meaty pizza
  • Bacon-wrapped cream-cheese-filled jalapeños
  • Shrimp cocktail
  • Mini Pita Bread and Hummus (Eddie managed to stuff an entire piece of pita bread in his pie-hole)
  • Crackers and fire-hot jalapeño cheese spread
  • Disgusting mushrooms stuffed with sausage (I touched nothing of the kind)
  • Assorted raw veggies (I touched nothing of the kind)
  • Beer and Wine (duh)
  • Pumpkin cheesecake, chocolate cake, and monster cookies

It was as low-key as you could imagine.  We sat around chit-chatting and generally being as offensive as possible.

At the end of the meal, we celebrated with the time-honored tradition of watching the ipecac episode of Family Guy:

The highlight of the day was, without doubt, Phil setting the toilet in the half bath off the kitchen.  Do you have any idea what that means?  I'm now able to pee (or...whatever) without navigating the basement stairs in the dark.  Okay, it's not exactly dark now, but it sure as hell is at 6:00 a.m. in the morning.  The baby gate is to keep Eddie from going down the unsafe stairway.  But I think Phil is really hoping I'll forget it's there and, in a drunken stupor, trip and plummet to my death.

But I now have a potty upstairs!!

At any moment in time, you can hear me skipping through the house singing, "Yay!  I have to pee!" with the unadulterated joy of a child with her first kitten, before she learns life's cruelties such as a coyote can bring. 

And this picture just because.

I think Phil looks like Gopher from Winnie the Pooh.

Oh.  I guess we did have a turkey after all.

Happy weekend after Thanksgiving!


  1. Okay...super artistic, but what is the jalepeno popper and I am guessing stuffed mushrooms representing? Eyes and beak? The best thing about T-Day is having the family together. I am sure they loved the feast you put together...especially the oh so clean shrooms. I'd eat your stuffed mushrooms.

  2. that's exciting news!! an upstair working toilet...even if you might miss the exercise of going up and down the stairs :)

  3. OK, that picture is just awful of Philly, but glad his nose was clean. And tell me, how does Eddy like his new outdoor potty?

  4. Sounds like the perfect Thanksgiving!! (I'm glad the folding chair was replaced by a real potty!)

  5. The best thing about this post is that you have a better place to pee!! Whoohoo!! Well, and that your family got together and you didn't have to cook...or eat anything you didn't want to. All sounds pretty darn good. :):)

  6. That sounds an aweful lot like our Christmas Eve dinner. We call it "horderves dinner" to make it sound fancier, but it's just a bunch of small sized, heart attacks waiting to happen.

  7. I think this is the first time I've seen a photo of your kids! A day late isn't bad, we still have a turkey gathering to go to on Sunday! After seeing that picture of the stairs, I am glad you do have an upstairs toilet to tinkle in now, I am known to slip down a few stairs even when I am sober! Lol!

  8. Awe Eddie!! The perfect Thanksgiving dinner! Cheers to you and your new toilet and I love your family pics.

  9. I hate the forced view of the perfect holiday. Most families grumble, cook til they wilt, then serve it to squabbling relatives. If everyone let it slide by and had pizza, there WOULD be joy on the holidays.

  10. It seems to me like a perfect celebration: when you can pee upstairs, you need to celebrate! Eddie was the star of the show, though!

  11. I like your toilet very much. The shot is so artistic. Please don't fall over the baby gate.


  12. Happy Thanksgiving! Yay for the potty, I also will not touch mushrooms in fact I despise them!

  13. Glad to know you are able to keep your sense of humor and play with your food during all of your craziness! So did you shove a paint brush in everyone's hand after you fed them? yay for upstairs potties! Phil will have to think of some other way to do you in!

  14. Sounds like a perfect way to celebrate to me! A potty, a pizza, and a pup :)

    (Phil must be a hoot)

  15. Sounds like an awesome Thanksgiving to me!! And ...."or, whatever"!! LOL Love it. ;)
    Btw, your house is looking fabulous!!! :)


  16. Your Thanksgiving sounds as close to perfect as I can imagine! And congrats on the new potty! Forget the basement stairs...I would've used a pot. You know I don't cook, so might as well use 'em for something!

  17. Your dog is so cute!!! And Thanksgiving on a Friday makes more sense anyways! :)


SAY SOMETHING! You know you want to.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.