Thursday, September 26, 2013

the grossest. thing. ever.

Have you ever bought those decorative bottles full of oil, vinegar, and assorted pickled foodstuffs to put in your kitchen because they're pretty and then you can pretend you're a gourmet chef?

You know of which I speak.





Yeah, me too.

What do you do with them when they've reached the end of their useful life?  (Read: 3 inches of dust on the bottles and you can see those things inside are becoming mutant zombie...um...vegetables?)

Back in my previous life (in this instance, happier life), I would have simply thrown them away since I wasn't equipped to deal with the creatures lurking within.

But now I'm a blogger.  And I'm supposed to come up with some really clever idea and repurpose those bottles.

Naturally, I consulted with the Queen of Never Throwing Anything Away and Later Making Something Cool Out of It.  Also known as Danni from Silo Hill Farm.

Danni gave me some colorful advice on the subject, and I decided to forge ahead against my better judgment.

You don't want to dump this stuff down your disposal.  In fact, you don't want to handle it without the aid of rubber gloves and a full hazmat suit.

And a respirator.

You think I lie.  I do not.

This is just a glimpse into the content afterlife:

This is nothing compared to the smell.

I retched no fewer than 17 times while sticking a metal skewer inside those bottles trying to get the nastiness out.

Notice how they conveniently shove large items into a bottle with a teeny-tiny opening?

They hate me, that's what it is.

After successfully removing all the dreck from all the bottles, I soaked them overnight in hot, soapy water.  Then I proceeded to soak them in scalding bleach water.


 This one looked so cool after I swooshed soapy water inside it!


Now they're nice and clean. 

NO, I haven't done anything crafty with them since...well...

...I sold my house...

And I'm a little busy.  Aren't they pretty?

Now?


Never.  Again.

I'm so glad this job is finished.  I have them VERY carefully wrapped and packed because I don't want them to break since they're now best friends with my gag reflex.

I'm so glad this job is finished!

What?

The hell you say.

There's one more?

And it's a fish.



 
source




 Carp.









28 comments:

  1. Gag!!! Seriously! That's disgusting. Are you quite sure that Danni wasn't pranking you? What a nasty job. You deserve a new house for that. Myoove right now and I hope the stench doesn't follow you. I wonder how long it will be before you remember those bottles? LOL

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  2. Lol! I always wondered who bought those things. ;) they do look really cool all empty, maybe use them together as bud vases for fresh flowers from your garden. That dump picture is disgusting, I will gag now every time I see them at the store.ewww

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  3. Bleagh. I don't do the jar/bottle thing. I don't like unnecessary stuff on my counters. It's kind of an OCD thing. My spices aren't even out. They're in a drawer in alphabetical order, laid out with the labels up.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Janie. It would be worth the trip just to see your spice drawer. My sister does that, but I can't spare a drawer. Lucky woman!

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  4. I never bought any bottles just for pretty for the kitchen, but I do have a couple oil bottles by the stove that are wavy and look a little indecently chummy that I got as a gift--and do use--that look similar to your two that had the red tops. You could buy spouts for those two and put oil in them. I have to admit that the first thing I thought of as I was reading was--oh, no--don't throw those bottles away! Empty them and clean them out because they are pretty! I could pass on the fish bottle, though--LOL! You did a great cleaning job, lady! ;)

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  5. That is disgusting. I have been there but with only three bottles shaped like the Statue of Liberty. But, you gotta get that fish one clean. It is so cool. Yes, that picture made me gag. I think I could smell it too.

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  6. I have been gifted and I have re-gifted a few of those bottles. The cleaned up bottles look great, I like the spout idea. But the bottles aside that is some cornfield you got growing there!! It's beautiful!

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  7. I used to have some of those, but I have no clue what happened to them! I probably threw them away when they got ugly. You are quite brave Andi...you deserve a medal for taking on that nasty mess!! :)

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  8. Yeah, food as a long term decorating accent is a bad idea. Kind of like when I filled a tall vase with lemons and forgot to check on them. They turn the most amazing shades of blue when they rot. Thanks for grossing us all out!

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  9. Lol thanks ill be shipping lunch now, but pretty bottles :)

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  10. Yes the bottles are pretty, if I was to clean out all the rotting stuff so I could have a pretty bottle my husband would have some smart ass remark to make but it wouldn't stop me if it was something I wanted to do.

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  11. Sometimes recycling is not worth the effort. I would say this was one of those cases. Yuck! :P I bought a bottle of gourmet cooking oil once with whole spices and garlic cloves in it. It was supposed to be edible, but you couldn't convince me of that fact. I used about a tablespoon out of the bottle, and then set it on my stove with a little bottle of vinegar that looked like a cluster of grapes. It was pretty, then I got tired of moving it to cook, and tossed it out.

    On the up side, you do have a lovely collection of bottles to go in that lovely hutch you bought earlier! :)

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  12. Umm.. I have yet to tackle this little chore and now I'm looking forward to it even less! But they are so pretty maybe make some bath salts and gift them for Christmas! Good luck with your move, I'm still unpacking 1 month later...

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  13. Well you make this sound like a fun Sunday afternoon craft LMAO !!!
    But they're amazing bottles - painting them???
    XOXO

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  14. Well you make this sound like a fun Sunday afternoon craft LMAO !!!
    But they're amazing bottles - painting them???
    XOXO

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  15. Oh God. My stomach can't take one more bottle. And I'm making note not to ask Danni about reusing anything with questionable contents inside. I have one in my cabinet labeled Toad Stool and it's green and glows.

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  16. Hhaha....love the bottles but oh ew. Nope, I am the queen of save everything too and I'm not sure I woulda done that! (and yes, I've had some of those in the past too...they went in the garbage at some point)
    But the bottles are pretty. :) Love the fish one!! ha

    Nancy

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  17. I laughed a soon as I saw the title and the first picture! Only you would think to take a picture of something so nasty just to entertain us. Thank you for going above and beyond.

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  18. Well obviously I'm behind in my blog reading and catching up here! Thank you for the shout-out and for not giving a direct quote on my colorful advice!!! LMBO! But was I right or what about the stuff inside those??!! They did turn out nicely though and I'm sure you'll so something lovely with them! So glad you sold!!!

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  19. They actually look better empty all grouped together. And now that I think of it, I was gifted one of those bottle a long time ago. It went in a box when I began remodelling the kitchen, which was already two years ago (I know, I know). I wonder how disgusting it'll look when I find it again!

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  20. Weird timing. I was just at a blog where they were ARGUING about whether those vinegars and oils are supposed to be USED or just looked at.

    SCARY CRAP is not to be USED.

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  21. LOL. I had three of those but I donated them FULL, thank God!! I am worried that when I see what you do with them, I will kick myself for getting rid of them :(

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  22. Carp! I love your wit.

    Mannnn, I don't know if I would have had it in me. I mean, I'd want those bottles too, but I have a very sensitive gag reflex. Yet that fish looks pretty sweet.

    Make hubby do it? ;)

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  23. Carp! That's hilarious!!! You are a committed and brave blogger.

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  24. I am completely gagging right now just thinking about that bucket full of slop. breath, breath, swallow. I am curious what Danni had to say, and proud of you for forging on.

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  25. CARP! BWHAHAHAHAHA! You kill me. Along with whatever the contents of those glass things are. Ew ew ew. I'm not letting Danni know A THING about all the old planters in my garage growing mold and limbs. This is why I tip the garbage men at Christmas.

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