I want to eat The Cat.
I want to eat The Cat so badly I think she would be the tastiest of morsels.
My cat-eating plans continue to be thwarted.
So I will wait. I will be patient, even though that is not in a Schnauzer's nature. I will give Mom, Dad, and Cat a false sense of security.
Then I will make my oh-so-delicious move.
Woof. I am Gracie.
My Mom and Dad were so very sad and distraught after they lost their Eddie Dog. They never imagined they could open their hearts up again so quickly, but then Dad found me on petfinder.
Here's what I looked like on the website. Hungry. I looked hungry.
And it was all over for them. And it was just beginning for me!
On the first day of Gracie, I was still Pumpkin, because that's what The Rescuers called me. These Rescuers weren't mice, but I'll bet mice are yummy. I don't remember what my name was for the first seven years of my life. Actually, I do remember, but I prefer Gracie.
Here we are on the car trip home. Mom loves me already.
I'm Dad's copilot. I resemble him a little.
Sometimes Mom calls me Gracie Lou. Or Gracie Face. Or Little Gracie Lou Who, Who Was No More Than Seven. Or Gracie Lou Freebush. And sometimes it's Little Miss Stinkbottom. It's amazing how many names a little dog like me can have in such a short time.
Come to think of it, Mom and Dad don't think I'm a little dog. They call me the Little Giant Schnauzer. I'm a lot bigger than Eddie Dog was. When I get up to my full weight, I'll be almost twice as big as he was! Mom says that's a lot of dog.
I don't remember everything before I came to my forever home, but here's what Mom says:
I am about seven years old. I don't know if I had one home for all those seven years, or if I was bounced around. I don't care to remember.
I must have started having some troubles, because I was abandoned. I don't know long I was out on the streets, but when Magnificent Mutts finally found me and picked me up, I was severely dehydrated, and near death.
I was very skinny. The fifteen pounds on my long, tall frame weren't nearly enough to sustain me much longer.
The doctor found (and removed) a stone in my bladder the size of an egg. I'm pretty sure it was bigger than a robin's egg, but smaller than an ostrich egg. Although, I'm sure either of those eggs would be delicious and tasty and can I have one or two please?
They also took out some of my teeth. I still have plenty toofers left, however, and I love to play tug. Especially with my Dad. He's an excellent tug player.
My foster dad, Wayne, put a whole three pounds on me, so I was up to eighteen pounds the day Mom and Dad came to meet me. I was still very skinny though.
I've put on about two more pounds over the last two weeks, and I'm filling out nicely. The doctor says my goal weight is twenty-two pounds, so I'm almost there!
I think eating The Cat would help a lot.
Here is where I stand watch for The Cat:
My last several encounters with The Cat have been peaceful and I've shown no aggression whatsoever. Mom is so excited. But, if you recall, I am baiting her. Unless I decide I really don't want to eat The Cat. Which I see happening the first of never.
But I want to be a good girl, so maybe I'll try and forget about my obsession with The Cat.
I know Mom and Dad didn't really think they could fall in love with another dog so quickly after losing their beloved Eddie Dog, but I proved them wrong. They totally heart me. They bought me a Hippo. I love Hippo. Can you tell?
Of course, I was meek and docile and totally hid all my orneryness from them in the beginning.
My bladder is still healing and I've peed a few times in the house, but they still seem to think I'm a good girl, so I think I'll stick around.
Plus, Mom thinks I have a sweet face. And I love her.
Mom and Dad took me to the doggie playground park yesterday. It was right after I had an accident in the house, so I had lots of anxiety in the car. I cried and whined and I'd never done that before. Dad thought I probably went for my last car-ride with my last people after peeing in the house because of my bladder stone, so I probably thought I was going to be dumped again. But we just got to play with other dogs and I was super-good and had so much fun!
I got to sniff sooo many butts, and I peed on everything, and I even took a really big poop and made Mom clean it up. But I made lots of new friends and I want to go back!
Mom and Dad are feeding me the most delicious-est of doggie foods. It's special food so hopefully I never get another egg in my bladder. I get a nice mix of crunchy and gloopy food. The gloopy food is called chicken stew and omigosh it is the tastiest thing this Little Giant Schnauzer has ever experienced.
The Cat might taste better, but I have a feeling I'll never know.
Besides, if I ever tried to take her on, she'd probably kick the ever-lovin' shit out of me. Mom says there's a reason she's been around almost fifteen years so far.
I talk all the time. Mom says I purr, and I wish she wouldn't, because that just makes me dream about eating The Cat. I'm just very happy in my new home. When I'm invited up on the couch (I'm pretty sure I never got to do that before), and Mom and Dad start loving on me, I let out lots of long, low groans. I'm quite the talker.
I have two new beds for my very own. Mom smacks her head when she looks at this picture of my two beds and me.
Sometimes when we go for walks, I am very ill-mannered and I pull like a freight train. Mom says we're going to work on that, but let's face it. I know I'm in charge.
I slept in my crate for a while after I came to my forever home. It has a nice, soft blankey in it, and I don't really mind it at all. The last couple nights, I got to move to Eddie Dog's old spot. Mom and Dad put more soft blankeys on the odd-old-man at the foot of the bed. They call it "the nest." I curl up there and sleep all night and I love being closer to Mom and Dad.
Me in my nest:
They tell me I'm a Good Girl.
I love my new pack so much.
Mom has finally been taking me outside without a leash. I've been really good and I haven't run off at all. Today I moseyed to the back yard to visit The Cat (I've decided I like her after all, and, henceforth, I'll call her My Cat), and there was a Different Cat.
An Interloper Cat.
Interloper Cat saw me and ran like the dickens toward the woods behind my house.
I gave Great Chase.
Mom gave Great Yells.
She grabbed Dad, and together, they gave more Great Yells.
I chased and chased, but was once again stymied. Are all cats Damn Cats?
I finally came out of the woods and Mom was so relieved. I completely ignored her, because now my thoughts are filled with nothing but Interloper Cat.
I will find Interloper Cat. And I will eat Interloper Cat.
And all will be right with the world.