Wednesday, November 30, 2016

gracie chronicles vol. I: rogue bladder

My bladder has gone rogue. I had surgery almost four weeks ago, and I still leak piddle like a sieve, and I'm so embarrassed. I heard Mom say diaper the other day, and I don't think she was talking about the Reese-Baby

Speaking of the Reese-Baby, Mom made this adhorrible picture of me and the Reese-Baby all smooshed together. We are a few of her favorite things, so let's see what we look like as a dog-baby stew, right?

She calls it Grace-Swap. She thinks she's so clever.

Woof. I am Greecie.




But let's get back to my bladder because I might have to dash and pee at any given moment.

If you recall from my introduction page, I had a giant stone in my bladder when I was rescued. I also had giant surgery to remove it. Now when I take a nap, sometimes I get up and find I've leaked on whatever comfy and absorbent victim was available. Sometimes it's one of my very own beds. Sometimes it's the blankets on the couch (Mom is very careful to always have stuff under my hoo-ha in case I leak). Sometimes, if my hoo-ha is close enough to my Dad's leg, I leak all over his jeans (and even through to his briefs), and he loves that so very much.

This is my sad, pathetic (and half-pissed-off) face when I come to realize I'm marinading myself in my own urine.



Mom has been doing laundry non-stop.

I go see another vet this week to test my tinkle. We have to make sure there's no sign of infection left so that I don't get another stone. I thought you took medical marijuana to get a stone.

But that could make me paranoid and think horrible creatures are trying to steal my Hippo.


Are they this way?




Or that way?




Eventually, I drift off and dream of Doritos.



Mom is wondering if this is what we have to look forward to until the end of time. She'll be asking the vet this question. I hope I don't have to wear diapers, because that would be ri-dog-ulous.

You think I'm embarrassed now

Afterwoof:

Mom is teaching me stuff. At least, she thinks she's teaching me stuff. I already know everything. I'm just taking my sweet time in acknowledging that I know everything. I'm making her work for it. Plus, I get more treats this way.

Don't you go thinking I was born yesterday.

Right now we're working on sit. Come on. I've been doing this sit all my life. Give me something tougher, because this is bullsit. Although, I would love to sit and eat Interloper Cat.

Yeah. Why don't you make that happen? I'll take a great, big, giant sit then. Oh, yeah.









19 comments:

  1. Poor Gracie! Sure hope this isn't permanent leakage...does the vet say?

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  2. I had stone surgery in late September. Anesthesia never kicked in. Massive pain meds I was injected with during surgery didn't help though I did see hell on the ceiling (it was white not red flames). Oh and doctor never removed the stone because he could not "find" it so he put a stent in. Stone is hiding in plain sight inside my kidney where it will stay till I die or it grows so big it strangles said kidney. I stopped peeing a lot after the stent was taken out. Hugs to Gracie!

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    Replies
    1. YIKES! We're taking her to the experts tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get some answers!

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  3. Dearest Gracie,
    I hear you on your embarrassment. Bless your heart. I'm sure the vet will be able to find and fix your leaking issue. In the meantime, consider yourself gently hugged and tell your humans I say hello and give them all a big hug for me.
    With love,
    Christina in FL
    P.S. - You know you are over the top adorable... right? :)
    P.S. P.S. -- Thanks for translating for us all Andi! :)

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  4. Poor Gracie...it's always something, girl. Lady problems never end. Purple hippos and mom make them a little better, though. I hope you don't have to wear a diaper forever. Kisses from me to you, sweet face!

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  5. Now the baby picture on the doggie was creepy! So, Is Gracie a new addtion to your house??? She's pretty darn cute!! :) Maybe the problem is she's just a pup?? It takes them a while to get that control. Be patient, Mom.

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    1. Nope, she's a seven-year-old rescue who got dumped because of her problems. She's in good hands now and will be spoiled to the end of her days!

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  6. I hope the vet had something positive and hopeful to say. Doggie diapers aren't the end of the world, though. Anything to keep (almost) everyone in the pack happy. ;)

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  7. Gracie, you don't have to wear diapers, but maybe you could wear something called piddle pants. I saw them in a catalog of . . . treats for dogs. Don't you like the name piddle pants? You are so smart. I know you appreciate alliteration. I bet the experts will fix the piddle problem, but just in case of a delay, please consider consenting to piddle pants. I could use some myself, at my advanced age.

    Love,
    Janie

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  8. No matter how many legs you have no one wants pee running down one of them, it sucks and is so embarrassing

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  9. You poor thing! Although, if the vet fixes said problem, you might want to play it out for a while....you know, sad face, sorry face, the ol' "Mom, I didn't mean to do it" face. It's treat city I tell ya. But I have to say, "piddle pants" sound pretty cute! Pink, ruffles, a little bling.....could be worse! Hang in there, girl. Dona

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    Replies
    1. She's so cute and sweet! We're hoping that's not our permanent solution. :/

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  10. I hope you get some good news and can prevent the dribbling. Have you tried pee pads (training pads) in her bed, or places she lays? Would be less laundry for mom.

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  11. OK, I want to know about this stone thing. I'm not all that excited about thinking of my dog leaking everywhere. So not cool. Last night he escaped when the UPS driving a Uhaul came to the door. 20 Minutes later he was back licking his chops and 6 hours later when I was in a nice deep sleep he was barfing dark stuff on my white carpet. I could not handle yellow too.

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  12. Any updates on Gracie? I sure hope she is okay! I have 2 rescues dogs myself, they are the best! Thanks for always making me laugh!

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    1. YES! She has a urinary tract infection and several very small stones. She should start treatment next week!

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  13. Gracie! I am wondering now if Foz is peeing on everything so you don't feel badly or embarassed. Thinking good thoughts for you sweet girl!

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  14. Just a thought... Would cranberries help her with her urinary infection? It did wonders for me years ago... And I no longer leak while sleeping!!! I have no idea if that would be safe for a dog...

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