Sunday, February 25, 2018

hooters {a vintage barrel chair makeover}

Upholstery is not my forte.

Did you know forte is pronounced "fort," and not "for-tay"? While "for-tay" is a widely-accepted pronunciation, if you love being right (at the cost of your only friend thinking you are an idiot), pronounce it "fort." It's a great conversation starter.

It's really not a great conversation starter.

Wine. Wine is a great conversation starter. Especially if you are talking to yourself. I have tons of experience with this, so let me know if you need some pointers.

I bought this chair ra-cheer.



I'm pointing out the three-year layer of dust, because people always seem to notice it anyway, and think I'm completely oblivious. I just want you to know I totally notice this stuff after I take pictures of it, and I still post it for billions of people to see.

I bought this sweet piece about seven years ago.

If you're a math major, it's clear to you that it's seven years' worth of dust, and I lied when I said it was only three years' worth.

I ripped it apart about two years ago and began reconstruction. I'm finally getting around to finishing it, because I don't love upholstery.

What DO I love?

I love Gracie. And Gracie loves Zebra. Moose? Not so much.



Damn, girl. Your legs are almost as hairy as mine.

Your chin, too, come to think of it.

I'm the first to admit I'm horrible at tutorials. There are lots of great step-by-step tutes out there to help you take apart (and put back together) chairs such as this.

Here's a super-fine illustration by my friend Christy at Confessions of a Serial DIYer.

I'm more about the booze.



Guys. This little Superstar obviously required something a little stronger than my usual bottle of wine.

But, for those of you who are only here for the chair:



She's sticking her tongue out at you.

I stripped her down to a bare-nekked leddy.



I gave her a good cleaning, primed her up, painted her gray, and abandoned her for two years. She was making googly eyes at my husband and I'll have none of that.

Well, okay, I did finish the cushion before I sent her into exile.



Now do you know why I named her Hooters? It's because of my owlbsession.

I covered her tongue with matching fabric.



And we stapled on the back fabric and support:



We stapled the foam and the front piece of fabric, then I finished her off by hot-gluing the piping to cover the unfinished edges.

I hope it burned her hooters as much as it did my fingers.

I also used Christy's double-welting instructions. Because if you're going to have a welt, you may as well have two.

Like my little hoots?


I thought you might.


In case you're interested in their backside:


Even Gracie is attracted to them. She's such a poser.


She decided that fluffy rug is a bit of all right.


Here's where Hootie Patootie lives (in the guest bedroom), along with her entourage of Pooh and friends as they wait for a visit from The Pie.


Speaking of The Pie...she has a secret. Can you guess?



Have a great week!



16 comments:

  1. Woohoo!!!!! The more the merrier coming soon I do believe!!!!! Yay!
    Hi Gracie!
    Nice hooters! Got exclamation points!!!???

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love the chair and could your granddaughter be any cuter? Congrats on a soon to be new addition and thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful job on the chair! :) Perfect for a visit from the Pie. I take it Gracie doesn't like Pie's Poo friends?
    Great to hear from you and Gracie.
    ~ Christina in SW FL

    ReplyDelete
  4. YOU HAVE BEEN MISSED. Sorry. Had to shout. The chair is awesome. You did a fabulous job even if you don't like doing upholstery. And another lil' darlin' on the way! Life doesn't get much better! Now, if only you'd stay around........Dona

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'M SO TIRED!!! I'll do my best to stick around. :)

      Delete
  5. Jimminy Crickets, my pie, her male counterpart, is getting a surprise too, beginning of August. And you?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Another baby to play with!!! What more could you ask for! Pie looks gorgeous. The chair looks gorgeous. Gracie looks gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Gracie has enough food in her beard to feed a family of four, but she looks pretty awesome anyway. :)

      Delete
  7. The chair turned out good and babies are amazing just saying

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know how you do all the shit you do. If I drank, maybe I'd be talented.
    How is Gracie doing with the pee problem that the whole world pretends not to know that she has? She's adorable anyway.

    Love,
    Janie

    P.S. Don't tell your granddaughter that I wrote shit.

    P.P.S. That was a pun.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How weird! I have the same chair! But not the confidence to redo it. And you did a masterful job! I do have at least 2 inches of dust on my chair. Maybe I'll draw some designs in the dust and leave it as is. Love your pup, Gracie!

    ReplyDelete

SAY SOMETHING! You know you want to.