Tuesday, April 1, 2014

clean eating and poop

I made an earth-shattering announcement last week that I was "going clean" for a week.  I told my friend Anya I'd been eating clean, and she says, "I eat clean."  I think she meant she scrubs her armpits before she eats because she was giggling when she said it.

Since I don't have anything else to talk about at the moment, I thought I'd give you the results (and talk about poop).  

First of all, I'll share with you that I have an IBD: Ulcerative Colitis.  I don't talk about it because it's really not a huge issue for me.  But it does affect my poop.

I was actually feeling pretty normal before a week ago.

Eating clean has turned me into Miss Loosey Goosey, if you get my drift.  Not that I was Miss Baseball Bat before.

Did I draw too sharp a mental image?  I've done my job then.

My week is up, and I've decided to move forward with my clean eating for as long as I can.  I'm hoping my system will adjust accordingly.

Basically, I ate nothing processed.  No boxed cereal for breakfast, no sugar, no white flour (almost no flour actually), no store-bought bread, muffins, no chocolate-wax donuts from the vending machine, no soda, no wine....no wine....no wine....whine....

I could go on forever.

What did I eat?  Fish, chicken, pork, veggies, fruits, green smoothies, whole grains (quinoa, barley, etc.), dried beans (yes I cooked them), ho-made peanut butter (thanks Daniela!)....You get the idea.  Pretty much anything that started as one, whole, unprocessed ingredient.  Some of what I ate was organic, but not everything.

I'd never tried quinoa before, and I found I really like it.  In fact, I found the weirdest combination that I now crave.  I made a (sort of) parfait for breakfast containing quinoa, greek yogurt, assorted fruits, a drizzle of agave, peanut butter, and granola.  I mixed the whole mess together and it was divine.

I don't have a picture of it.  But I could try and draw another mental image if you'd like.  It wasn't very pretty after I mixed it all up.  Oh, never mind.

So, after a week of giving up the garbage I usually stuff into my face, I have loose poop, and I've lost 8 pounds.

Before you get too excited, keep in mind that at least 5 of those pounds were nothing more than water bloat.  And I must say, I no longer feel like a bloated toad.


I found 2 really good resources in my quest:

Skinny Ms.
The Gracious Pantry

Now if the weather will shape up, I will begin running again.

But first I must go wax my eyebrows.  Because there should be two.  That should be good for another pound at least.


  1. Wow girl! That is so awesome! And you are crazy. I've never seen the word poop so many times in one blog post. I've been on a diet for a week now, weighing and posting tomorrow. So glad you're sharing, even if it is TMI... :-)

  2. I have ulcerative colitis as well... So I don't really need to detox, my body does it daily on its own! Thus said, I don't eat anything that I haven't made for scratch, except for a few excpetions... More excpetions if I'm in a crisis, no exception if I'm in the middle of a crisis. Then I do the no-resdiue diet, which works miracle, but is dangerous to keep for a very long time, as I found out the hard way last year. You can of course email me if you want to talk about it. And I also need to wax my eyebrow (s?), so we have much in common!

  3. Do you think quinoa looks like sperms? It kind of disturbs me with its oddly umami taste and spermish looks. Maybe I'll have to give your recipe a try....maybe. Then again, you did give beets a try....I'll have to think about it. Thanks for the baseball image. urgggh.

  4. I have a BAD colon...real bad. So bad that I have to have that *ahem* PROCEDURE every year instead of every five. I am trying to cut out a lot of processed food and eat cleaner in April.

  5. I eat dirty. I do everything dirty.


  6. I'm with Janie, if I can't have wine it's not going to work. But yay you a for doing and b for being the diyer who writes about poo :)

  7. lmao!!! Not everybody talks to the world about their bowels....but now that you mention it.....I think this is a great idea! All but the wine part...not sure I could go CLEAN on that deal! LOL! You crack me up!

  8. bwahahahahahaha!!! Just can't even comment, can't think of anything to pull from the bowels of my being!

  9. Wait, you have to give up wine? Why wine? Isn't giving up everything else enough?! Kudos to you, though! That frog is the perfect picture for bloated. ICK.

  10. I was actually nervous reading this post - really - I thought - dear God she's not going to show us anything we shouldn't be seeing, is she?
    And then I thought - Well it's Andi - so you just never know - LMAO..................
    8 pounds - WOW - that's fantastic!

  11. I have the urge now to discipline Kirby's colon. Bad colon Kirby, bad.

    1. PLEASE! Someone needs to whip this thing into shape!

  12. LOL Hilarious....and a little disturbing all at the same time! But you did remind me to wax my brows! Cheers!

  13. you are too funny! I just finished making a huge batch of peanut butter tonight. With 5 of us, I got to keep the stash full. I so, SO love it. Well done on the clean eating.

  14. Once again you have cracked me up before breakfast! Thanks for not showing us poop pictures and for sharing your clean eating. It's inspiring. I hope you'll do another update. Are you drinking lots of water? Somehow I find that the hardest thing about dieting...remembering to drink water.

  15. Holy crap!!!! 8 pounds in one week is fantastic, even if 5 of it was water. Way to go! Did you crave any of the bad things while you were cleansing? Not counting wine of course.

  16. I love lunatics and you are a loooonatic! Glad you are a poopie head now.
    Quinoa looks freaky and hairy to me so I don't eat it much.
    Great job with the healthy eating and you must feel better.
    Eight pounds...you must look mahvelous, dahling.

  17. Forget the eyebrows. Waxed my entire face yesterday. I'm hot. Bring on Texas and all its godforsaken sunshine!

  18. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I'm a fan of any post that includes poop.

  19. Aha! Eating clean! Good for you!
    I can totally relate to poop problems, as you know. I am intimate friends with Loosey Goosey (not my choice--she's pushy and aggressive) but feel I have so outgrown her random and annoying company and would like to break it off. The probiotics are trying to give her the hint. Wish me luck. She's clingy and oblivious. ;)

  20. Good for you!!!!!!! I just got back from a 2+ week visit to my brother in Colorado who is dying (they gave him a month, he's on #2) and am WAY behind on your posts. So one by one, I'll be catching up. Eating clean is a wonderful idea for all of us. My daughter and I "try" to.....when we're not eating Easter candy or floating in tubs of ice cream. I'm so impressed with you! I'm feeling the drive to want to get back on track. Thanks for the push! Dona


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