Saturday, May 28, 2016

the trellis of all time

Hello, my fellow delusionals! I'm so happy you're here, even though I do realize most of you are only here for Eddie. I can't say that I blame you.

Any time Philly or I come up with something far more fabulous and amazing than what our Visa card alone can provide, we call it the "blank" of all time.

For example, Eddie is the Schnauzer of all time.

Oh, my sweetness. Can you believe him???



If we ever finish our pantry, it will be the pantry of all time. Unless you hate my theme, which has yet to be revealed. I'm guessing half the world will love it, and half the world will hate it. Lands, was that a hint?

Do you remember the landscaping we did around the flag pole? Of course you do. That was just like four days ago.

You missed it? The hell you say. Go check it out. I'll wait.

I'm waiting.

Oh, you're back? M'kay.

I wanted a really big trellis and Phil wanted it not to be anchored to the house. Phil's a huge fan of not drilling holes in the house.

Such trellises have proven elusive. Except this one. I kinda like it, but...


FROM AMAZON.COM
It was $150.00 and it doesn't come with those cool climbing roses. Upon further inspection, I'm betting those climbing roses are fake.

Yeah, those vines are just a little too green and look suspiciously like the ones I saw falling off the Hobby Lobby truck the other day.

Cheaters. I'm so pissed off right now I can't see straight. Or maybe my choice of tasty beverage is causing the sudden change in my vision.

So. Philly said the magic words: "I'll pour you more wine."

No! That was the other time. This time he said, "I can build you a trellis!" Heavens, I adore that man.

We still have leftover cedar we stole from our neighbor to make our Pot Farm and our Headboard. There is no tutorial for the trellis because he did most of the constructing after I'd fallen into a wine-induced coma. And I'd have no idea what to say anyway, except get our your table saw, circular saw, and drill. And be like Phil.

But I have pictures!

Here's a quick refresher in the unlikely event you had the audacity to skip my last post.



Playing pick-up sticks!



Inserting tab A into slot B...



He sure can make a mess, can't he?



Here's how he'll stick it in the ground:



Let's pause for a moment and inquire why we need a trellis in the first place, hmmm?

These babies!! I love clematis and I hope I don't kill them a whole lot.



I planted two varieties, and the white one is doing well. The other is a red/purple combo and it's pretty much going to die, I'm afraid. Here's the wall before:



And trellissed. Now I just need my baby clematis to grow or I'll have to replace it with those stupid fake roses.



I mustn't neglect to share the gratuitous butt shot.



Happy Memorial Day weekend peeps!





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16 comments:

  1. Republican??? I so want your trellie. If it suddenly disappears, along with your pretty flowers, you'll know I was safely in Utah. But seriously, I want it.

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  2. Haha, nice butt shot. That trellis is going to look so nice and such a perfect corner for it. I have been wanting to get a trellis for a clematis I have in my garden (right now its one big hot mess of a puddle in my garden). I have been working on my front porch lately, too!!

    Carrie
    curlycraftymom.com

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  3. Republican??? I so want your trellie. If it suddenly disappears, along with your pretty flowers, you'll know I was safely in Utah. But seriously, I want it.

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  4. First let me say, I am delighted, nay...humbled that you would consider me a "fellow delusional". I'm sure we all aspire to be like you and this...(sniffle...) well....humbled. That's all I can say.

    As for the butt shot...oh, it's been a long time....(yes, in every way). Do you rent him out for parties? I'd have one if you do. But, I must say....I noticed what I originally thought, were tightie whities under his britches. But I also noticed (I'm VERY observant) that they could possibly be bikinis...not a thong, but bikinis. Pray enlighten us, master!!

    Oh, and I like your trellis. Dona

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    Replies
    1. I will totally look into the party thing. And please NO bikinis. He wears regular old briefs, but graduated from the tighty whities a while back. Now he wears blacks and grays. Happy?? =D

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  5. Sh*t! I hope my clematis don't read your blog! They were feeling all loved because I remembered to put some twine up for them to climb this year BEFORE they got tall (as opposed to years past when I broke vines trying to coax them after they had gripped everything else in sight), but NOW, if they see your trellis everything will change!

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  6. My but your trellis is big. My but is big. My.

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  7. We have a trellis, butt our climber is dead. We are on the lookout. (For a climber, not a butt.)

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  8. Phil did a great job on that trellis. About the reveal... did ya know if you wait too long for a reveal that people just give up wanting it? (Did that help to encourage you to reveal your reveal?)

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  9. Fellow delusionals...you know us so well. That's an awesome trellis. Job well done, Philly. That's going to be a pretty spot for rocking that baby, Grandi.

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  10. Great job by the butt-man!! Yes, those roses do look a bit fake, but you clematis should LOVE this new addition. And Eddie is the cutest. :)

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  11. Mom always told me clematis grow best with a box around their base and extra dirt...buying new home so think I'll try your idea. Thanks!

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  12. Mom always told me clematis grow best with a box around their base and extra dirt...buying new home so think I'll try your idea. Thanks!

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  13. I'm really sorry but trellis + clematis and all I could think was that part in Veronica Mars: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33vzTMu9_N8
    I could be ashamed, but I'm not!

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  14. Really enjoy your dialogue! It brings a smile to my face and brightens my day! Thank you!

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