I know I left my Panties hanging, but they're back. And bigger and better than ever.
If you missed Part One, check it out HERE.
If you missed Part Two, check it out HERE.
Disclaimer: NOT a tutorial. At all. We had no idea what we were doing and still don't. Like, ever.
I was truly excited about this segment.
Am I the only one who thinks about worms when they hear the word segment? Or better yet, Tootsie Rolls. Wait. Dog poop! My friend Bliss has the best dog poop sign ever. I want to be Bliss when I grow up. But I find growing up elusive. I also seem to be unable to stay on task. Squirrel.
Here's where we left off. Doesn't it look awesome? It gets ugly in a minute.
The smart thing would have been to order the Viatera Everest quartz we have in the kitchen. But here at Eddie's house, we like to follow the path of greatest resistance, and pretend to have inherent knowledge about things of which we know absolutely nothing.
I've seen so many DIY concrete countertops, and not only are the tops cool, but they make those people seem really cool as well.
Coolness wins out every time.
Since Philly's the salesman in the family, he got in touch with Z Counterforms and asked for free stuff.
They said no.
It's the first time I've ever asked someone to sponsor a project, and they turned me down flat. They "had another blogger they were already sponsoring." That blogger can't possibly be as cool as me. I talk about worms and poop on my blog. And panties.
As for Philly's sales prowess? Nailed it!
We forked over our $300 and got bags of white concrete:
Forms (simple and square because I wanted them to be like me):
Mesh, and, finally...tiny Star Wars TIE Interceptors:
We could have purchased the corner jigs along with our other concrete paraphernalia, but since we weren't on the free-shit plan, Phil made his own.
He screwed on concrete backer board (from underneath the cabinets--that way if we ever need to remove the top, the screw heads aren't entombed in concrete), cut and attached the forms, sacrificed a roll of duct tape, added the mesh, and stabilized the mesh with the Star Wars TIE Interceptors.
Then we suffocated the crap out of the cabinets with visqueen. Visqueen is such an odd-looking word.
Lots of people mix their concrete in a bucket with a paddle attached to their drill. We've heard this is very labor-intensive. Since we happen to know someone with a portable concrete mixer, we simply waited until dark, loaded it up, and stole away under cover of night.
Mixing away in our top-secret laboratory...
Next, we pour...
Next, we pour...
I don't know if it was this concrete in particular, or if all concrete smells like raw sewage as it cures. Has anyone else had that experience? I mean, other than in a sewer?
He trowelled and screeded. According to spell-check, neither of those are actual words.
After a couple days, we snapped off the forms. Look. A sewer snake on the floor.
Here's where the fun and coolness of our fabulous project became Season 4 of American Horror Story. It was so bad we completely gave up on it.
No one really talks about finishing the concrete. Most of the DIY posts I've read make it sound like they poured the concrete, and it was magically glossy, smooth, and finished. Of course, you can keep it au naturale, but Phil really wanted to be able to lick it without sanding his tongue off.
You can use a regular palm sander, but you will go through 136,429,583 sanding discs, not to mention your entire home will be covered in fine concrete dust.
We may or may not have experience with that.
After a couple weeks of wound festering, we finally broke down and bought a wet polisher. But this is where I must leave you, because the polisher is still in the box.
Along with Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
If you're new to Andi's Panties, you may not know I have a little guessing game going. So far, ONE person has guessed correctly what the theme of the pantry is going to be.
I still think my favorite guess is a bordello. In fact, I'm quite shocked it's never occurred to me to quit my day job and become a Madam. I could hang with Eddie all day.
Thanks for visiting, and stay tuned...
It's complete! Check out the finale HERE!