Sunday, September 24, 2017

gracie chronicles vol. V: sick dog

Holy dog poop.

Mom hasn't let me write a blog post since March.

MARCH, I SAY!

But I got sick. So she's feeling a little sorry for me. As she should.

Woof. I am Gracie.


It all started on Labor Day weekend. I was minding my own business, chasing down unsavory characters in the neighborhood (my usual daily enterprise). I felt fine during the day, but in the middle of the night, I became afflicted with nausea. Naturally, I vomited on the blanket covering Mom and Dad. But I was quiet and stealthy in my vomiting, because I didn't want to disturb them.


Apparently, I was a bit too restless, because Mom woke up and asked me why I was sleeping on her face.

"Because someone puked on the bed," said I.

She must not have believed me, because she patted the blanket to try to coax me onto the spot where I normally sleep, and her fingers discovered the half-digested doggie kibble I had recently deposited.

To Mom's credit, she didn't freak out and start a vomit chain reaction. She quietly got up, scooped up the barf, took the blanket to the laundry, and replaced it with a fresh one for me to defile.

To Dad's credit, he slept on.

All the following day, I was listless and disinterested in food and drink. However, when Mom hand-delivered me a bowls of delicious, cool, clear water, I did gulp them down. Mom and Dad decided if I didn't feel better by the next morning, they were taking me to the pound.

Actually, it was the vet hospital, but I had you going, didn't I?

I felt tremendously improved the following morning, so no pound for me! Mom and Dad decided I'd eaten something I shouldn't have (like the cat, or maybe a dead toad), and that explained the short-lived malaise. Do I look like I would do that?!


Fast-forward two weeks.

I am exhibiting the same symptoms as before. 


Off to the pound we go. They shaved my belly and did an ultrasound (along with some blood work) and discovered I have something called pancake-a-titus, which is very common in a Schnauzer Dog. There's something wrong with my pancake. Which is strange, because Dad hasn't fed me pancakes in months and that really makes me rethink this whole living situation.

My pancake is right below my tummy and Schnauzer Dogs who have bad pancakes need to be fed a low-fat diet. But that must not be enough to fix the problem, so the pound people also waterboarded me as a treatment before sending me home.

Oh, yeah. To add insult to injury, I also have something called a yootee-eye. I don't understand this at all because I can see just fine.

Oh. The peanut gallery just explained it's called a UTI. And the peanut gallery also informed me the expensive prescription meatloaf I've been eating for the past year is supposed to help prevent this situation.

Mom decided she's going to make my food from now on and she calls it Gracie Stew AND IT'S DELICIOUS! She cooked me some chicken breast and peas and sweet potato and PUMPKIN! Can you see how pretty it makes my beard?


I am feeling so much better now! Even if I don't know how to sit on this sofa/ottoman thing correctly!


Keep your paws crossed for me that I don't have any more pancake flare-ups, because it really scares Mom and Dad when I feel so poopy.



Afterwoof:

Mom insisted I inform you it's not my PANCAKE, it's my PANCREAS. I think pancakes are tastier; although, I've never eaten a pancreas before, so I'm not really sure.

She also claims I wasn't waterboarded. Mom said it was a subcutaneous fluid treatment. I call it waterboarding because, if only for the day, this is my blog.
















15 comments:

  1. Gracie!!!! No more pancakes!!!! Foz wants you to know his cousin dog (a freakishly large Papillon) gets those too. We don't think he gets Gracie stew though...well of course eh wouldn't because his name is Captain Jack. So happy to see your healthy little adorable face. xoxox

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  2. Gracie, you are so lucky to have such a great mom and dad. :) I am happy to hear you are feeling better. Now go give mom and dad a kiss for me. :)
    ~ Christina in FL
    PS to Andi, Bless your heart, I know this was stressful. Hugs to you!

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  3. Oh, you poor girl! Pancake-itis is the pits!! So glad your mom and dad know how to take care of your sweet self!! Play it, girl. Get all the lovin' you can!! Dona

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    1. She's doing so great now! Keep your fingers crossed!

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  4. Please have your mom give us her recipe for your special food. My name is Tootsie & I have a bad pancake too. Also, tell your mom that you have lots of fans & she should let you blog more often!
    Your friend,
    Tootsie

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    1. Hi Tootsie! My mom mixes up the following (in any given combination): Cooked chicken (or ground turkey) + cooked rice (well-cooked with extra water) + canned pumpkin and/or cooked sweet potatoes + veggies (such as cooked peas or green beans). She's still playing with the recipe, and we're going to talk to the vet soon about a raw diet. If we switch to that, we'll let you know!

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  5. Welcome to the dog food making club. Maybe no more neighborhood roaming either.

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  6. Ah yes! Thee old vomit chain reaction. Unfortunately I can relate to that. Take care, Gracie!

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  7. OHHH GRACIE. Looks like you're on the mend. Your Mom is a good Mom since she's decided to make your dinner. Good idea! You look beautiful again and so glad you're feeling better. NO TOADS They are dangerous to your health!

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  8. Is there a recipe for the Gracie Stew? I have an elderly PomaWeenie (Pomeranian Dachshund mix) granddog who is deciding to turn up his nose at most everything, but he looks very healthy. He has only a few teeth left, but he loves Greenies - no problems there!

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    1. Hi Ginger! My mom posted the ingredients in a response above! It goes like this: My mom mixes up the following (in any given combination): Cooked chicken (or ground turkey) + cooked rice (well-cooked with extra water) + canned pumpkin and/or cooked sweet potatoes + veggies (such as cooked peas or green beans). She's still playing with the recipe, and we're going to talk to the vet soon about a raw diet. If we switch to that, we'll let you know!

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  9. So sorry you were sick. But so glad you are getting a special Gracie Stew made by Mom that is delicious. Now don't go eating things outside. Just stick to your special stew and hopefully no more trips to the pound. :) :)

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  10. Gracie, I'm sorry you've been ill. It's a good thing your mom got off her lazy ass and took you to visit the vet. I know it was torture for you, but you will feel better. I love the colors in your beard from Gracie Stew. Be sure to wipe your beard on the furniture--the most expensive and highly-regarded pieces in the house--when you want to clean it.

    Love,
    Janie

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  11. Gracie, I hope your pancake is feeling better. I'm sure Gracie's stew is delicious.

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