i feel pretty, and witty, (not) gay...............................{tongue in cheek tuesday}

Welcome to my first time participating in Tongue in Cheek Tuesday!

I've met so many new friends and have encountered so many wonderful link parties since I started blogging.  But I have to confess, I've never been so excited as when Danni at Silo Hill Farm invited me to participate in "Total Couture Tuesday" (a decision I'm sure she regrets now).

Because I'm a flannel fashionista.

Let's face it ladies...above all, it's important for us to look good for our men.

Now, I do have a "real" job that I go to several days a week.  And the moment I wake up...before I put on my makeup...I say a little prayer for ME.

Anyway, I slap on some face cream and mascara, dry my hair, spritz with hairspray, and throw on some suitable clothing.  Well, sometimes.

But the REAL magic comes on the days I'm at home and my Horney Honey is off for a hard day's work.  Those are the days when I can really take the time to sexy myself up so that when he walks in that door...   

Oh, My Chicks, the lust that pours from his pores when I greet him...Why, he can barely keep his hands off me!

Now, about my favorite en-sem-blay.  This is the one I wear the most, because it totally gets his motor running.  I like to call this "Flannel and Fleece."  Kind of reminds me of "Crimson and Clover...Over and Over."

It’s alarming how charming I feel...
And so pretty...
That I hardly can believe I’m real...

I have some of the best bed-head in the universe.  My husband says I look like Barf.  I don't see the resemblance.  (Pay no attention to the...uh....camel toe.)


Back to my outfit.  Let's start with the tank top...this was a sa-weet deal from Wal-Mart on clearance for $1.00. Can you believe it??  I bought several in many color combos, because they go with absolutely nothing.

And those pants...whoa... Aéropostale!   Yes, this 40-something Mama can still ROCK the clothing from the teen store with the best of them!  Again...clearance.  Didn't you know that turquoise is super-duper HOT right now??

  
And the Pièce de Résistance...my jacket/cover-up/blazer...I'm not sure how we want to categorize it.  My Honey says it's a CPO jacket.  I'm not sure what that means, so I call it my TCBY Yogurt Jacket.  I bought this on clearance (again!  I know!) at Kohl's when I was pregnant with my oldest.  He's now 22, so isn't it A-MA-ZING how these things just stay in style all these years?? 

Oh yes, My Sweets, I am taking the "no more matchy-matchy" rule to an entirely new level.  Sometimes when I want to switch things up just a little, I trade out my pants for some Snoopy action.

But one must not overlook footwear.  You guessed it...clearance at Wal-Mart.  One Dollah!  These sweet little Croc-offs have saved me.  And you see those paint spatters?  All the rage.  And see those fuzzy blue (turquoise) balls?  Yep, those came off my Aéro sweatpants.

My shoes have blue balls.

Seriously, you need to get some of these.  They are cutting-edge couture.

  
Now, the only reason I look this good in these photos is because of my photographer.  He's AWESOME, no??  He's got QUITE the eye.

Now I want to share with you a typical day when my Honey and I are getting ready to go work in our "workshop" (basement card table with a bedsheet covering it).

I know I know...I would NEVER appear in public looking like this...so embarrassing.  And no, this is definitely NOT a picture of us at our niece's wedding.  In Arizona.  Where we spent HOURS trying to make ourselves presentable.

We never EVER make funny faces.  How immature.

Talk about your Extreme Ho-Makeover.

Well, I just have to thank our Hostesses again for giving us all the opportunity to really showcase our fashion trends.  We must always be PROUD of our fashion statements.

I know sometimes I tend to be quite self-defecating -deprecating.  And I must stop!  Because that just stinks.

Thanks Total Couture Tuesday!  You're a lifesaver!

Post Scriptum: My editor just told me this post might not be considered "PC."  

Pork Chop?
Pee Cup?
Poop Crack?

<Sigh>... I just really don't understand.


The hostesses!
Kirb Appeal
Bliss Ranch
Silo Hill Farm
Mellywood's Mansion 
Simply Vintageous By Suzan