Wednesday, April 24, 2013

me so tubby

There are a few things we need to have on-site when the framers arrive.

Namely, My Three Tubs.

Grab your bubble bath and rubber duck and moscato.

I know everything there is to know about designing homes.

Because I watch HGTV.

I know no one uses one-piece tub/showers anymore.  (Unless you're building new construction, and you don't watch HGTV.)

My husband falls into the latter, finite category.

He used to build spec homes A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.

(the early 90s)

Imagine his surprise when, during one of our regular constitutionals through Menards/ Lowes/ Home Depot, there was nary a one-piece tub/shower to be found.

Indignation abounds.

Philly: If they don't use one-piece tub/showers, then what the #%&$ do they use?

Me (With the patience of Job): They put in a lovely jacuzzi tub and build a tile surround.

Philly: Why the #%$& would they do all that extra work when you can just put in a one-piece that will NEVER leak and there's no grout to get moldy?

Me: <sigh> (Thinks: "You're moldy.") Says: Because it's pretty.

Philly: We're NOT having a jacuzzi...All I need is for the motor to go out and things start leaking; then I'm tearing apart the whole bathroom.

Me: That's okay...I don't really want a jacuzzi anyway. 
(Actual truth--I'm weird, I know.)

Philly: I'm not putting anything in but a one-piece tub/shower.

Me (Job has left the building): But those look so cheap!
I'd really like a nice tub with a subway tile surround.

Philly (Looking at me like I have snakes coming out of my head à la Medusa--and I probably do):  We don't have to get a cheap, ugly tub...we'll get a really nice one.

Me (Hmmmmmph): We can't even find an ugly one...how are we supposed to find a pretty one?  

The Hunt Begins.  And Ends.

Me: I found this really awesome tub/shower for the master bath!
No jacuzzi!  It's a one-piece!  Andi Likey! Gimme!

source



Philly: It's oval.

Me: {blink}

Philly: What's wrong with just a regular-shaped tub?

Me: You said I could have a nice tub!  

Philly: The regular tubs are nice.

Me: I want this one because it's pretty.

And you said I could have a nice tub. 

And it's nice. And pretty.

AND big.

Philly: So you can waste even more water.   

[Even Job is contemplating stabbing Philly in the eye
with a pitchfork.]

 

8 comments:

  1. I find that so facinating we do not have the shower in the tub anywhere I've been. It's always separate. When I entered Bloglandia I realisedhow different our bathrooms are. 3 tubs....so jealous, your house is going to be amazing!

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  2. Oh my gosh! I want this tub so bad...thinking about running in and waking up Sam to show him right now, but that will probably lessen the odds of me getting one! Lucky girl!

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  3. LOVE the whole reenactment of you and your hubby's conversation. I love the photo you attached, I can't believe its a one piece! Love the oval tub, too! We have 3 bathrooms in our house and ALL of them are one pieces! I would love a jacuzzi!

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  4. HAH! You make me laugh and are officially my new favorite. You and Philly remind me of me and my D. "You're moldy". Awesome.

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  5. Ha Ha!

    We do have a jacuzzi tub and I so understand your not wanting one.

    My reasons are: the jets just get black crud and mold in them every 6 months. Makes it hard to enjoy your jacuzzi bath when you get out and see black floaters all around you.

    My initial reaction was "Can that give me a UTI? Horrors!"

    Sorry if that's TMI, but it was fear inducing!

    I believe I also have the patience of Job with MY hubby.

    Don't we get angel bucks in heaven or something for that? ;-)

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  6. Your conversation sounds a lot like the ones I have everyday with the workers in the cottage everyday... They just don't understand "pretty" or "cottage" at all and sometimes it's like we don't speak the same language, though I do speak French with them!

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  7. Hey! I followed you here from Danni's blog. You are hilarious! I'm a new follower and I look forward to hanging out here... Loved the post you did at the Tongue and Cheek party.. FUNNY!

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  8. This conversation sounds really familiar lmho !!!
    3 TUBS! Calgonite take me away - love the oval one :)
    CHILL PHIL - and get the lady what she wants!
    XOX

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