Wednesday, April 24, 2013

me so tubby

There are a few things we need to have on-site when the framers arrive.

Namely, My Three Tubs.

Grab your bubble bath and rubber duck and moscato.

I know everything there is to know about designing homes.

Because I watch HGTV.

I know no one uses one-piece tub/showers anymore.  (Unless you're building new construction, and you don't watch HGTV.)

My husband falls into the latter, finite category.

He used to build spec homes A Long Time Ago, In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.

(the early 90s)

Imagine his surprise when, during one of our regular constitutionals through Menards/ Lowes/ Home Depot, there was nary a one-piece tub/shower to be found.

Indignation abounds.

Philly: If they don't use one-piece tub/showers, then what the #%&$ do they use?

Me (With the patience of Job): They put in a lovely jacuzzi tub and build a tile surround.

Philly: Why the #%$& would they do all that extra work when you can just put in a one-piece that will NEVER leak and there's no grout to get moldy?

Me: <sigh> (Thinks: "You're moldy.") Says: Because it's pretty.

Philly: We're NOT having a jacuzzi...All I need is for the motor to go out and things start leaking; then I'm tearing apart the whole bathroom.

Me: That's okay...I don't really want a jacuzzi anyway. 
(Actual truth--I'm weird, I know.)

Philly: I'm not putting anything in but a one-piece tub/shower.

Me (Job has left the building): But those look so cheap!
I'd really like a nice tub with a subway tile surround.

Philly (Looking at me like I have snakes coming out of my head à la Medusa--and I probably do):  We don't have to get a cheap, ugly tub...we'll get a really nice one.

Me (Hmmmmmph): We can't even find an ugly are we supposed to find a pretty one?  

The Hunt Begins.  And Ends.

Me: I found this really awesome tub/shower for the master bath!
No jacuzzi!  It's a one-piece!  Andi Likey! Gimme!


Philly: It's oval.

Me: {blink}

Philly: What's wrong with just a regular-shaped tub?

Me: You said I could have a nice tub!  

Philly: The regular tubs are nice.

Me: I want this one because it's pretty.

And you said I could have a nice tub. 

And it's nice. And pretty.

AND big.

Philly: So you can waste even more water.   

[Even Job is contemplating stabbing Philly in the eye
with a pitchfork.]



  1. I find that so facinating we do not have the shower in the tub anywhere I've been. It's always separate. When I entered Bloglandia I realisedhow different our bathrooms are. 3 jealous, your house is going to be amazing!

  2. Oh my gosh! I want this tub so bad...thinking about running in and waking up Sam to show him right now, but that will probably lessen the odds of me getting one! Lucky girl!

  3. LOVE the whole reenactment of you and your hubby's conversation. I love the photo you attached, I can't believe its a one piece! Love the oval tub, too! We have 3 bathrooms in our house and ALL of them are one pieces! I would love a jacuzzi!

  4. HAH! You make me laugh and are officially my new favorite. You and Philly remind me of me and my D. "You're moldy". Awesome.

  5. Ha Ha!

    We do have a jacuzzi tub and I so understand your not wanting one.

    My reasons are: the jets just get black crud and mold in them every 6 months. Makes it hard to enjoy your jacuzzi bath when you get out and see black floaters all around you.

    My initial reaction was "Can that give me a UTI? Horrors!"

    Sorry if that's TMI, but it was fear inducing!

    I believe I also have the patience of Job with MY hubby.

    Don't we get angel bucks in heaven or something for that? ;-)

  6. Your conversation sounds a lot like the ones I have everyday with the workers in the cottage everyday... They just don't understand "pretty" or "cottage" at all and sometimes it's like we don't speak the same language, though I do speak French with them!

  7. Hey! I followed you here from Danni's blog. You are hilarious! I'm a new follower and I look forward to hanging out here... Loved the post you did at the Tongue and Cheek party.. FUNNY!

  8. This conversation sounds really familiar lmho !!!
    3 TUBS! Calgonite take me away - love the oval one :)
    CHILL PHIL - and get the lady what she wants!


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