andi's pantry project {part 4 - reveal!}

This is it. The big one. The one you have all been waiting for.

Well, I have anyway.

If you missed Part One, check it out HERE.
If you missed Part Two, check it out HERE.
If you missed Part Three, check it out HERE.

If you're looking for Part Four, you've come to the right place. I was planning to break this into two posts, because there is a TON of content.

But I've had death threats.

So get comfortable and read on. Want a sneak peek?

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the trellis of all time

Hello, my fellow delusionals! I'm so happy you're here, even though I do realize most of you are only here for Eddie. I can't say that I blame you.

Any time Philly or I come up with something far more fabulous and amazing than what our Visa card alone can provide, we call it the "blank" of all time.

For example, Eddie is the Schnauzer of all time.

Oh, my sweetness. Can you believe him???

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landscaping around the flag pole, Master Yoda, and ticks

Greetings! I hope you're all having a wonderful week. I was the lucky recipient of a colonoscopy recently, which is more fun than a tick infestation. (More on that later.) I love coming out of the anesthesia and discovering which random quote will fall from my numb, dry lips.

This one was Philly's all-time favorite. I clearly believed I was dying, so I raised my head ever-so-slightly and uttered, "But Master Yoda, you can't die..."

Obviously, I'm a Jedi Master.

You can't make that shit up.

Did you see my beautiful flag? And look at that amazing landscaping surrounding it. The way the parched, dried earth surrounds and embraces the dandelions? I'm awesome at gardening.

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F the cork monogram

Happy Friday!

I am far more skilled as a drinker of wine than I am as a crafter of crafts. In fact, I'm a firm believer that wine can only enhance the crafting experience, and, subsequently, the completed craft. I failed miserably at crafting as a kid (now we know why--the only wine to which I had access was Communion wine--no crafting going on then), and I haven't improved much through the ages of stretch marks and bunions. I have attempted two hang things for my front door and they both sucked. I can make quilts of my own design, I dabble in cross-stitch, but other than that, I'm useless.

When you're a wino, and you have a couple of wino sisters, you tend to acquire more corks than a teenager does pimples. That is, of course, after you graduate from the boxed wines to those bottle-shaped bottles that actually come with corks. Corks are a total bonus.

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andi's pantry project {part 3 - DIY concrete countertops}

Welcome friends! And a special welcome to all my new stalkers who found me through my recent post on Hometalk!

I know I left my Panties hanging, but they're back. And bigger and better than ever.

If you missed Part One, check it out HERE.
If you missed Part Two, check it out HERE.

Disclaimer: NOT a tutorial. At all. We had no idea what we were doing and still don't. Like, ever.

I was truly excited about this segment.

Am I the only one who thinks about worms when they hear the word segment? Or better yet, Tootsie Rolls. Wait. Dog poop! My friend Bliss has the best dog poop sign ever. I want to be Bliss when I grow up. But I find growing up elusive. I also seem to be unable to stay on task. Squirrel.

Here's where we left off. Doesn't it look awesome? It gets ugly in a minute.

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tailoring a bed skirt

Since the dawn of time, bed skirts have conspired to crush my soul. Oh, the lifting of the mattress, the positioning of the skirt, the replacing of the mattress. The intense physical combat. The sweating and the swearing. Well, I actually enjoy the swearing part.

We have an all-foam mattress which rests its weary flesh on a wooden frame that doesn't play well with bed skirts.

Here's an older picture of our room, and you can see the disaster that is the bed skirt. Frumpy and dumpy and grumpy.

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the long-awaited flag pole

Happy Monday! I know I've left you hanging on the pantry project, but we were infected with a sudden burst of Spring and were compelled to act upon it.

I've wanted a flag pole longer than there've been fishes in the ocean. There's just something about seeing Old Glory waving in the breeze that always brings a tear to my eye and a squeeze to my heart. I can't listen to the Star Spangled Banner being sung (well) without getting all choked up.

My research assistant (and resident hole digger) found just what we wanted. We purchased a telescoping pole and flag from Uncommon USA, Inc. The poles and flags are made here in the States (as they should be!).

The Hole Digger digs! I love watching a man work.

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ms. anonymous has a birthday!

It's my birthday! I thought I'd be a little self-defecating and show you some (mostly) horrible pictures of myself over the years and explain why I refer to myself as Ms. Anonymous. People simply have no idea who I am. Seriously. I'll see people I've known for years, and they'll show nary a flicker of recognition.

I'm going to blame it on my ever-changing hair and my varying degrees of fat content.  But mostly my hair. I don't want to discuss fat swings. My sparkling personality can't be the reason people forget me.

Let's start early. Looks pretty consistent so far. Except for that chipped tooth. Yeah, that helped adolescence. A lot.

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andi's pantry project {part 2}

First of all, if you're following me through your Blogger dashboard, you may need to go back and add me again. I recently switched to delusionsofingenuity.com (instead of blogspot.com) and I noticed I didn't show up in my feed anymore and had to re-add myself.

Of course, if you are following me that way, you're probably not seeing this post anyway.

Now that we have that taken care of that bit of nonsense...

Did you catch Part 1? No? Go check it out right now, you sillies. Andi's Panties are on fire!

Here's where we left off. This post is being brought to you by the letter L.

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andi's pantry project {part 1}

Greetings!

Here at Eddie's house, we call the pantry project "Andi's Panties." I thought better of using that as a title because of all of the Creepy People it would undoubtedly bring this way.

Welcome, Creepy People.

Nonetheless, that's what Phil has dubbed the pantry.

Normally, I like to wait until a project is close to being finished before I start posting about it, because I'm very aware of all the things I may have started and have never finished. But we're tearing through this like a herd of turtles, so I'm feeling confident.

You may recall the glorious state in which the pantry has existed for, oh, two-and-a-half years.

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sofa table update

Hey there! Do you ever go back to old posts and think, "I didn't drink nearly enough wine before I published that?"

My original post on this sofa table made that abundantly clear. It's a really old post that some of you may not have seen, so I'm putting it out here again with some new and amazing pictures.

Well, they're new.

Phil bought this beauty back in 1980-something while I was still wearing a training bra and shooting rubber bands out of my braces.

Phil is anti-painted-wood. But he's coming around.

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diy upholstered headboard

Welcome! This was a fairly simple DIY project, assuming you have a Kreg Jig and a drill. You also need to know how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill, or have someone who knows how to use a Kreg Jig and a drill and also happens to love you.

You also need scissors. And a schtapler. And duct tape. Wait a minute. Nope, no duct tape for this one. Oh! And an iron! I'll shut up now.

My tutorial skills are downright enviable, you know.  In fact, I would say they are on even par with Eddie's ability to keep his beard clean.

Allow me to illustrate:

Now that you have zero expectations, we can continue.

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